Eeek! A Spyder!

[Cdn_Cuda]

SOLD LOCALLY.

SALE PROCEEDS GO TO MEMBERS IN NEED.
AT LEAST $100 WILL BE DONATED.
$30 is to cover shipping, but if cost less than that, the remaining balance will also be donated.

Alright, we all know how it goes. your wife/girlfriend/mother/husband/surrogate/twin is tired of you buying paintball guns. Well this, my friend, is NOT another paintball gun. This is a highly sophisticated Spider removal device!

You will no longer fear those eight-legged freaks that are lurking in the corners of your house waiting to jump
out and bite you. No, with this device in your hands the only screams you will emits are those of sheer joy! Next time your significant other screams about a spider you grab this amazing spider slaying device, throw in some included reballs and send that spawn of Satan back to whence it came.

But what happens if the spider is not alone? There’s more than one, or perhaps an entire herd?! Do not fret, good sir (or madam)! This highly sophisticated spider eradication machine some with a dual action trigger that really rocks! Fend back wave after wave of fanged horrid with a barrage of reballs.

Win the admiration of your housemates, save your damsel in distress and reap the rewards of your bravery!

Best yet, this spider removal device will fully restore your paintball karma! Why is that Cuda, you ask? Well the money from this sale (minus the shipping) will be going to help members from this very forum who are going through some tough times. Yes, even tougher than finding a large spider taking up residence in your bathtub when you’re buck naked and about to jump in the tub.

But wait, that’s not all! Act now and I will through in a second, fully mechanical spider eradication device as well! I would hate to hear you have perished at the hands of a spider simply because you forgot to recharge the batteries! This second device is even some sort of special edition because it says “Java Edition” although I have no clue what that means. And I’ll also include some little extras for a surprise! (Extra may or may not be a spider...) And because MCB I’ll throw in a bag of random Spyder parts!

So how much will all this set you back? Only $130USD. That covers shipping, and will leave at least a $100 donation to our fellow MCBer.

[Alexndl]

Came to see the spyder, stayed for the story

Now I have a new reason to justify to my whife how many paintball I have

[Tarak]

This gives me very good reason to buy some reballs now, lol. Glws!

[glaman5266]

If I see a spider that size I'm grabbing a shotgun.

Great post! Good on your for giving back to members in need. That Electra is in pretty good shape too.

[Cdn_Cuda]

F*#% Todd. You know, the guy at the field running the latest and greatest space dildo that doesn’t get released to the public until next week. They guy who decided to buy a Emek because Mech is “cool now” and then proceeds to spend 3x the purchase price of it on accessories to make it shoot like a space dildo. The guy that only manages to eliminate you because he shoots more balls in a single round then you do in an entire weekend. It’s frustrating, but despite your skills with your gentlemanly brass or phantom, they just doesn’t have enough BPS to put balls into his mirrored KLR lens and right between his eyes.

Weekend after weekend, arms race Todd continues to shoot wheelbarrows full of paintballs at you, making you feel annoyed and yet more determined. You’re going to bring Todd down a peg. So what is the best solution? Spend $1,200 on an Emek? Stoop into owning the latest flavour of the week space dildo?! Not likely, after all the is MCB not PBNation or Reddit... you want a gun that it’s simple existence is a screw you to guys like Chad. So what, you ask, is this marker? Well I’m glad you asked! It’s a Spyder. Yup, you read that right. An S-P-Y-D-E-R. Over looked, ignored and under appreciated, it’s perfect to wipe the smirk off Chad’s face.

Just think of the look on Todd’s smug face when he realized you rubbed your balls in his face with a freakin’ Spyder! It’s the ultimate insult to injury. And not just any Spyder, a Spyder rocking one of the most gimicky and ridiculous upgrades ever, the rocking trigger!

But why is it called a rocking trigger? Not just because the trigger mechanism rocks back and forth to shoot, but because you can shoot it like you’re shredding on an air guitar! That’s right, channel your inner Jack Black and giv’r! Todd won’t know what hit him!

Just wait you see Todd’s agg’d mirror lenses pop out for a look and unleash a power ballad on that rocking rigger. Todd, distracted by your awesome air axe abilities, freezes, not fully comprehending what he is seeing, right up until you cover his face in paint. You’ve instantly redeemed yourself, sending Todd off the field in a showing of utter dominance.

At the end of the match Todd strolls over to see what fancy muppet mower you used to eliminate him and his jaw drops. “You shot me with a Spyder?!” Confused, angry and a little sad, a lone tear rolls down his cheek as he stares in disbelief, his pride taking a serious hit by being taken out by a lowly, lousy Spyder with a dumb rocking trigger.

You have finally extracted your revenge on Todd. Your Spyder has proven it’s worth and you now return to using your proper gentleman’s paintball gun. But that Spyder will stay in your gear bag and every time Todd starts to think he’s the cock of the walk you can flash it at him as a warning, reminding him of his humiliating defeat.

So f@#% Todd, and do it for charity!

The proceeds of this sale will go to help members in need.

(please note if your name is Todd I’m talking about that other Todd and not you, as you are an awesome and caring member of the MCB family and would love to support our members in need)

[woodsballer]

Came for the spyder, stayed for the space dildos

[Cdn_Cuda]

Pending locally.

[Cdn_Cuda]

SOLD

[KennyP0wersMullet]

This whole thread is pure gold