A pun is its own reword

[Rainmaker]

What's a pun's favorite movie?
It's a Pun-derful Life!

I used to go fishing with Skrillex. But he kept dropping the bass!

What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter!

[scottieb]

I spent many hours late into the night dragging and hauling furniture into a friend's new home. I was really tired this morning and was late to work because I over schlep'ed.

[cellophane]

The first few work best when spoken, but here are a few I like:

Two peanuts were walking through the forest. One was a salted.
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No i-deer. (no eye deer? no idear? - ironically i'm not sure how to write that to convey the intent)

What do you call that same deer with no legs? Still no i-deer.

If you ever get cold, just stand in the corner of a room for a while. They’re normally around 90 degrees.

People who can't tell the difference between etymology and entomology bug me in ways I just cannot put into words.

[Axel]

Did you hear about Sean Connery's greedy miniature pet crab? It was a little shellfish.

[Rainmaker]

I was walking through a rock quarry…I said to the foreman, "That sure is a big rock."
"Boulder," he corrected me.
So I stuck out my chest and shouted, "THAT SURE IS A BIG ROCK!!"

[glaman5266]

Did you hear about Sean Connery's greedy miniature pet crab? It was a little shellfish.

What time did Sean Connery show up at Wimbledon? (Sean Connery accent) Ten-ish.

[Rainmaker]

[Rainmaker]

I bought some shoes on the drug black market…I don't know what they're laced with, but I've been tripping all day.

[scottieb]

I tell puns to retired people but they don't work.

[Axel]

Some idiot crashed his fancy import right into my house this morning, and now I have a front Porsche.

[kevdupuis]

I hope we don't go A Pun Too Far.

[Rainmaker]

I saw an ad for burial plots, and I thought… "That's the last thing I need!"

Bad puns…it's how eye roll.

[Rainmaker]

The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar. It was tense!

Somebody stole all my lamps….and I couldn't be more de-lighted.

[scottieb]

I know a guy who is addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop anytime.

[Pyrate Jim]

I tried to get into the library, but they were booked.
What's 2/3 of a pun? P.U.