A pun is its own reword

[flyweightnate]

I always wondered what the big deal was about batting "cleanup". It seemed like the cheers were louder, the jerseys were more expensive, but most of all, the salaries were higher!

Then my dad told me the old saw, "Go fourth, and prosper."

[Rainmaker]

Hi

[flyweightnate]

I'm strongly considering using that de-liver line this December... probably should wait for the wife to get drugged first.

[un2xs]

Seen on a music professor's office door:

What kind of music do killer whales like?

Orca-stral music!

[scottieb]

I taught my kids when they put on their shoes to put the right one on first. Because then, there's just one left.

[scottieb]

I memorized six pages of the dictionary.

I learned next to nothing.

[Cdn_Cuda]

When does a joke officially become a dad joke?

When it becomes apparent.

[scottieb]

A bored ninja would probably kill someone with a sai.

[Nish]

P

[Dauntless152]

My kid Ate a bunch of scrabble tiles so we took him to the doctor… no word yet.

[Nish]

Hopefully there will be a vowel movement soon.

[flyweightnate]

I've heard of logorrhea, butt...

[Dauntless152]

Why is the beach always wet ?
because the sea wee’d

[scottieb]

A clock disliked his tick-tock.

So he changed to a better tack-tick.

[Olsson]

When I was a kid I told my friends that I wanted to become a comedian and they all laughed at me
So I put my mind to it and actually became a comedian, and they're not laughing now.

[scottieb]

I'm at the hospital right now because I drank a bunch of disappearing ink. I'm still waiting to be seen.

[Olsson]

No matter how kind your child might be, German children are kinder.

[scottieb]

I try to say "mucho" when I'm around my latino friends.

It means a lot to them.