Church?

[punkncat]

Let me start by saying, this is not meant to delve into the religious/political leaning that this subject could move towards.


I haven't attended church on any regular basis for YEARS. The last I did were Baptist churches that pretty much had a policy of "show up, sit and listen, pass the plate". Oversimplified, anyone was welcome, come as you are. Now there WERE people concerned with how you dressed and such but by and large I never ran into a situation where I "knew" that someone that came was publicly asked not to join or "vetted"....so, on to the point of this post.

Some years ago our son and ourselves decided that we would like to find a church to attend. We visited around several that were both local as well as a few that others we knew attended and were invited to. We went to a couple several times and everything seemed cool for a minute as we got to know the church, the congregation, they got to know us. Out of several of them we commonly found where after we had been a few visits the pastor and or a group of the congregation would come out to the house and hold an interview, of sorts. This varied a bit but almost without fail these churches were asking for sensitive financial information from us, and in at least two cases wanted to run both background and credit checks on us. I thought this was a bit strange, but find it more common as time has gone on.

We pretty much let it drop and have not attempted to attend anywhere for some time now. Our son has been going pretty regularly to a couple of churches in the area and very recently was introduced to Catholicism. I don't know much about it and will reserve my uninformed opinion of "it".

He went to the church a couple of times and at this particular location (I don't know if this is common) he was asked to sit in a specific area of the pews and told that he could not participate in certain rites and ritual as related to the proceeding(s). One of the elders of the church approached him last week and asked if he was interested in becoming Catholic. He said yes, so the guy informs him that there is a vetting process and an interview he needs to attend such that the elders can decide if he is "proper material" for this church.
He was on a video chat meeting with a group of people for three hours the other night talking with them. They asked him to fill out some forms, give permission for a background check, wanted financial info...it was rather a trip. They further went on to tell him about a group of books he has to buy and study for a test he has to complete within a year. During this time he is not Catholic and cannot participate in Mass, Communion, things such as this. While he is doing the study aspect they will be checking up on him as well. We asked him to ask them if they were one of the "gay friendly" subset as this is very mixed within that denomination. Don't know if that is going to matter or not.

Is this type of thing common with Churches now?

[Rainmaker]

Thanks for sharing this experience. I'll share some of my church experience (Disclaimer: this post does get a bit into religious topics, but it is in order to demonstrate my response to the OP's question).

I may not have a very wide range of church-going experience, but this strikes me as pretty unusual and intrusive.
I've been attending church for most of my life. I've moved around quite a bit over the years, so there have been months here and there where I didn't attend. But after getting settled in to a new place, one of the first things I (or "we" after getting married) would do is start visiting churches in search of one to attend regularly. So I've done the "church shopping" thing a lot. I'm not one to hold strictly to a particular denomination, as long as the major Christian beliefs are a priority, and the teachings are Biblical. That being said, the churches we usually looked for were Evangelical Free, Baptist, or non-denominational. Typically, the church is very passionate about people: reaching out to people who are in need, encouraging, inspiring, teaching biblical principles, and obviously focused on salvation as that is the main message. This kind of church inspires me to contribute both time and money, I want to be a part of it.

I'll use the church we currently attend as an example We visited there for the first time a few years ago. We were greeted kindly, several folks made small talk, etc., generally a friendly atmosphere. The message was encouraging, and based on scripture. I was able to study some of the passages further later and agreed that things passed the common-sense-check, and the agrees-with-the-bible-check. I was also just really inspired by the pastor's passion. Looking into the church more over the following weeks, they placed emphasis on a few specific things: knowing God, finding freedom in your life, discovering purpose, and making a difference. Notice that you can do all of these things with $0. In fact, to this day I have not been asked to give money, and I could definitely be an engaged member of the church without having given a dime. I personally have decided to give money because I want to (and it is biblical). And boy does that feel much better than being asked, and then being anxious about how much, etc. Anyway, we joined a small-group that had families our age, got connected, started serving in various small roles so far (i mean small, like admin stuff). The messages on Sunday encourage me, the small-group meetings bring friendship and community, serving gives a sense of purpose. And as our kids get a little older, I'm psyched to be a part of more, and involve them as well. It all ties in to getting to know a God who knows my name and wants a personal relationship with me.

As far as Catholicism, I did attend a Catholic church a few times when I was younger. It was very structured, organized. If that floats your boat, more power to you.

Oh and background checks or credit checks - Background checks I understand in some cases. For example, I was a helper in the youth group at a previous church (kids ~12 to 18), and I had to have a background check for that. I completely agree with that because it made sense for my role, but I don't think every person needs one. Credit or financial info on the other hand, I do not agree with, and have never been asked for.

[MAr]

The Catholic Church is old as hell, and steeped in tradition. They act more like it's an exclusive club, than other churches I have been to. But joining an exclusive club always seems more rewarding, doesn't it?

IF he gives it a shot and likes it, great! If not, he will find somewhere else to fit in, and that aligns with his views.

Catholic Churches always have the best carpentry tbh.

[Deus Machina]

Not in my area, as far as I know.
TBF, I'm not a churchgoer, just in contact with with them often enough. My need for religion and spirituality is nonexistent and may border on antagonistic. More with the organized church than the religion. But a good church isn't just religious or spiritual, it's also the more general (and IMO even more necessary) need for community and support. Even I've found advice from an experienced and trusted clergyman to be a source for moral guidance and personal well-being even without directly sharing religious views. The Golden Rule, Commandments, and plain good advice are pretty universal.

Be aware, unless there's been a drastic shift I've been unaware of, Catholic churches are not 'very mixed' on being gay-friendly. You have a few that have more open leadership, take the current pope's words to heart, and are more welcoming than others. And the rest are... less so.
If they are accepting of that, then they're the ones worth seriously considering; that's a good sign that the leadership is more 'guidance counselors' (they want their worshipers to be happy, accepted, and to end up in the right place) versus the 'principals,' who think the way there is only by strictly following a narrow set of rules including how someone thinks and feels, not just acts.
Spoilers: Catholicism often lends itself to the latter.
The clergy are, by a very large majority, good people as a rule. Some are just rigid and their views may not mesh with yours. Me, I've found the traditions and rituals of the Catholic church stifling and unnecessary for spirituality. Others find it kind of meditative and the ceremonies centering.

If your need for religion is strong, look into some of the non-denominational churches if you're having problems with a particular one. They have to be more open by definition and are generally more likely to follow the spirit of the teachings than the literal words, which IMO is the point.

As for background checks, vetting, and financial information? No, not common in my (not recent) experience, and it's not okay.
A background check? Maybe. It's a community, you're likely to be involved in activities, and certain contributions mean they want to be sure they can trust you around the kids and coffers.
Vetting? No. That should just be interaction during the post-service chatting, ice-cream socials and spaghetti dinners. When someone moves in down the road, you chat with them by the mailbox and remember how they interact at the block parties, you don't sit them down with the busybody HOA's self-appointed HR department for an interview on why you should consider inviting them to your Superbowl party.
You want to convert? Take Communion, show up to confession, get baptized. That's. It.

Financial information? I'm gone. They're laying their priorities out. A church needs to open their arms to your heart, not your pockets.

[gabe]

Yeah, that all seems very strange for them to ask for financial information or do background checks. I thought churches were supposed to be more open door than that. At least the way I remember it.

I've been kicking around the idea of going back to church. Was raised in the Church of Christ which is kind of the hippie back to fundamentals version of baptist church. No pressures, no forced tithing, no background checks, no voting people in/out, just normal church. They did have a thing against instruments so it was all acapella singing which is kind of fun.

[punkncat]

Vetting? No. That should just be interaction during the post-service chatting, ice-cream socials and spaghetti dinners.

One of the places that we attended happened by way of meeting the pastor on the road while cycling. He and I crossed paths a few times and started planning parts of our ride together. He was a very amiable person, super easy to get along with and talk to. I imagine prerequisite for the "job". Anywho, one thing led to another, he gave me some great advice about a family issue I was having and invited us to attend their small church which was actually along a part of our cycling route.
Great place, great message, super friendly folks. After our third time attending we were invited to a pot luck. Had a great time. Right at the end of it the pastor and a couple of the members come over and hand us a packet to fill out....
This has happened at more than one place.

[Siress]

I mirrored this in the Member's Only section for those that don't want their part of the conversation in the public domain.

[Deus Machina]

If it's a 'getting to know you' type of questionnaire thing, great. Easier for him than asking a bunch of questions, done a lot of those in college classes.
If it's mandatory and asks anything that starts getting too invasive... nice guy, been great meeting you, thanks but no thanks.

[Axel]

I've never heard of a background check for membership. Repentance is kind of a main point so that seems... Odd... *Shrug*

Child abuse background checks are standard for volunteers working with minors, like youth group, nursery. Usually state required these days anyhow.

Credit or financial checks? I may have heard of a few cases but I always thought that was a fringe thing.

Interviews and education are standard; you want to know what you're getting into anyway and they want to make sure that you understand and agree with the major tenets of the faith. Better than discovering a year later that they have some goofy belief you find abhorrent.

The Catholic Church requires a lot from its members; a year long educational process for converts sounds fully justified.

[Chuck E Ducky]

I’m not a churchgoer my wife is, but if they ask me for my financial information it would be the last time.

I have recently thought about joining a church for the community aspect of it. I have shut off all aspects of the outside noise, News, anti-social media, anything political. I’m focusing on my little piece of the pie and focusing on family, friends and people in my local community. The Wife and I are building a new house in a small town I grew up in. I’m looking forward to getting to know my neighbor and spending more time with family.

My biggest issue with going to church is it cuts into my play time. Selfish maybe but I really enjoy paintball.

[punkncat]

I mirrored this in the Member's Only section for those that don't want their part of the conversation in the public domain.

Some great points made here about the experience here in the "Deep South".

[Toestr]

I'm Catholic, have been all my life (went to Catholic school, etc). Never heard of being made to sit in a certain place during the service, but you aren't supposed to do things like receive the Eucharist or the blood unless you have undergone the proper sacraments (baptism, first communion, confession), so that is pretty standard. Usually you just go up for a blessing from the priest/Eucharistic minister. It should be noted that technically nobody, whether they have undergone the proper sacraments or not should go for communion if they have not been to confession and done their penance. Not sure how involved it is to undergo the sacraments as an adult, but as a kid it was pretty easy.

I've never heard undergoing a background/credit check to attend? Perhaps if you want to have a role in the church beyond just attending that involves handling money or with children maybe but not beyond that. I used to attend Church on a weekly basis but would split it up between a few local Churches (usually which ever one I was in time for by the time I got out of bed) so I wasn't necessarily a 'regular' at any single one.

All the Catholic churches in my area are pretty progressive in terms community. In my view, I do find the Catholic Church to be generally more progressive than the depictions of Protestantism I see in the media, but I'm not sure how universal that is.

Catholic churches are usually more grand buildings, while Protestant ones are more plain (you'll know why if you're familiar with the Reformation period).

Hope this helps.


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[chrislognshot]

i thought not politics and church on this board

[Grendel]

In general, but this is more information seeking vs. religious debate but it could easily slip into no-no territory if people are not careful.

[Grendel]

I know of a few churches that do mandatory tithing (10% of take home) and expect each member of the church to provide copies of W2 to be sure what they are giving meet that 10% tithe. My mother in-law belongs to one and a couple friends belong to a couple others. None them happen to be Catholic but it is my understanding that the Catholic church does believe in tithing as well as the Presbyterian church I grew up in did. This is one of the reasons I left the Presbyterian church when I found out the church my parents attended expected (banked on) a 10% slice off the top of my Fathers income. So they exist and some members agree with the financial information stuff at least.

[Number six]

I have not read all of the responses posted, so this may already be stated in some form or other.
No church I have ever attended has asked how much money I make, and I'd be pretty uncomfortable if they did.
I'd be more inclined to attend a church that encouraged participation of new people. Admittedly, I don't know anything about Catholicism, so that may just be a tenet of that faith.
The Message will be heard by those willing to listen, no matter the place. I like listening to someone who is able to put the Word into the context of everyday life, rather than tell me how I need to improve my similarities with someone that's perfect. I like to feel welcome among fellow believers. I attend a specific place when I am in my hometown, but don't feel any pressure to do so. I am always welcome there, have never been baptised there, and have yet to place one penny into the offering tray. I usually wear a polo with jeans, and have yet to hear anyone say a thing about it.