Funny playing-on stories

[wunderbarsafari]

So it happens. Players will wipe, ignore hits, spin on someone bunkering them. But that’s being an A-hole and this thread isn’t about that. Tell me about someone that made you laugh when they should have been in the dead box.

Last year I was playing walk on with an even mix of renters and self-equipped players. I was pushing up the right side of the field toward an opposing renter who kept coming over the top of his pallet to peak. From about 30 feet we trade a little paint and I thought I snapshot him in the mask.

But I don’t see him come out. Okay? Maybe I hit the pallet and splattered him? Another minute of shooting inside and calling out bunkers and he hasn’t popped back up or left yet. So I shoot a couple balls at his pallet to see if he’ll peak out again. Sure enough he does and I see bright pink on his mask as he ducks back down.

I call the ref next to me and ask him to look at the guy’s mask. He goes over and looks and exclaims “ Oh no, buddy! You’re so out! There is noooo way you didn’t know you’re hit. You can’t even see!” Guy gets up and has two perfect splatters on either side of his lens. Absolutely can’t see a thing. Guy starts to walk off and runs straight into a bunker. Ref helps him out with a cloth and sees him to the dead box. Dude never spoke a word.

All I could do was laugh. I’m guessing paintball wasn’t his first choice that day. I’m glad it was old, lazy me and not someone else who’d bunker, bonus ball or yell at him to GTFO.

[Siress]

Playing 1v1 with a guy on a speedball field back before airball even existed. We end up on opposing sides at the 50 and he's tunnel visioned on my back center bunker. I let one fly and it clips the lid of the 20oz soda bottle he's been using as a spit bottle (chewing tobacco) that's dangling out of his back pocket. He's completely oblivious to anything that just happened. I then run off the side of the field and climb onto spectator stands while he continues to bunker the grass behind my back center bunker. Confused, he looks up and sees me waving from the stands. He walks over, full of questions, and I just smile while waiting on him to reach for his bottle as he always does after a game. His word choice was hilarious when he realized what had happened. I don't remember it well enough to quote him, but something along the lines of 'guess I should feel lucky you didn't hit me in the brown eye'.

[rawbutter]

I've been guilty of playing-on myself a few times, although always unintentionally. I was playing a night game just the other month, actually, when I pulled a really great flank pushing up the right side. One guy put shots on me from the middle early on, but I returned fire and got him out. I did feel some hard splatter when the middle guy shot at me, but that doesn't count on our field. Then I move farther up the right and took out two more, which broke their right side and let one of my teammates get the center flag.

Back in the dead zone, however, I noticed a big bright spot on the left side of my tank, and gun hits do count on our field. It was probably from the middle guy that shot at me first. Felt pretty dumb that I didn't check more thoroughly. If I had called myself out, the game probably would have turned out differently.

[Siress]

It happens.

[Chappy]

Wayyy back in about '93, we had a Marine come and play with us. He was a nice guy, hadn't played before but was real gung ho about it. He wore a steel helmet, which we all told him to ditch. But he was just wearing it for s&g's so whatever. First game(3 on 3 iirc) he came running down the field first from his side. I put a few rounds toward him but he broke off and engaged the other two on my team. I engaged and eliminated his two teammate while he did the same to mine. I heard him coming, so I dropped behind a bunker when the asa slid out of my razorback. D'oh, gotta keep those nelson screws tight. Luckily I had a pgp on my hip cause why not. Pulled it out, popped up and shot at him. Straight at his face then curved to the right at the last second, lousy paint. He shot me out. As he approached me, I could see the bright yellow splotch on the forehead of his helmet. I was the only one shooting yellow at that point. He was out from my first volley of the game but didn't realize it. He ditched the helmet for the rest of the day

[nerdcore]

Never witnessed a funny one, but recently saw a wtf one.

Large rental crowd + a few self-equipped rotated to a field too small for the whole group (not sure what the ref was thinking; we tried to tell him). Couple of us knew it would be bad. I debated sitting this one out, but it was hot & I wasn't gonna stay much longer, so whatever. Out with a bang.

Horn blows, I tuck in at home and pause. Handful of players gone off the break. Lots of double, even triple, stacking on bunkers, including mine. I don't have angles on anything because 2 rentals standing behind me keep wasting paint across the field, coming too close to a friendly fire incident.

So I just watch my own team, waiting to fill. One rental goes for the 50, right tape. He didn't stay low or sprint, he was busy shooting while moving. He takes one to the mouth then drops behind his bunker.

This is the guy. He doesn't get out but he doesn't shoot back, either. He's also not hugging the bunker. He lifts his mask up halfway to spit out paint. WTF. I yell "mask down!" but I don't have high volume, plus he's not paying attention. I hear another player repeat the words. He ignores that, too.

Takes another shot from a cross-up (center or left 40, probably). Now he starts shooting back. But he's manic, so he's popping up, flailing to & fro, dropping on his back, rolling around, blind-firing. His shirt and mask are turning neon yellow. I can't tell if the paint on his mouth is from the initial splatter, or if he took a bare lip hit.

I'm amazed his mask isn't falling off. He's still wearing it half up. He's yelling - can't tell what he's yelling but it's not happy things. The owner shows up. He just came out to take pics but sees this chaotic scene. I can't hear him at all but I know what he's saying: mask on, gun up, walk off the field.

Now I hear the rental. He's yelling that they won't let him leave, they just keep shooting. Still can't hear the owner but he's standing over the bunker and not getting hit, making some hand gestures. Finally, the rental walks off.

---

Ok, while typing all that, I realize there is one funny play-on moment, years ago. My own daughter. She was around 12yrs old. Her and I versus 2 other walk-ons on airball.

She takes home, I take back right. She says, "I think I'm out."
Me: "already? Where?"
Her: "I shot myself in the foot."
Me: ...
Her: ...
Me: "ignore it."

[MrKittyCatMeowFace]

Ive done it to myself. XD

[glaman5266]

Last weekend I played some speedball, a rare occurrence for me. The last game of the day was airball, which I haven't played in ~13 years or so. We had a mix of vets (pretty much just my buddy & I), some casual self-equipped players and rentals. I go back right off the break, my cousin goes right snake, buddy (opposite team) goes on my mirror. Cousin gets shot out, I bump to the first knuckle of the snake. Buddy gets shot out. I usually just play my bunkers but I decide to get ballsy & advance. Either no one knew I was advancing or there was no one else there. I get to their 40 & peek over the snake. I shoot 2 out & push to the last knuckle at their 30. I peek over & there's a guy at their 50. I shoot him in the pack & he doesn't feel it. Guy on the sideline is laughing his ass off & my target is looking around like "WTF?". He starts coming back a bunker or so & I pop him again & he is confused. Game ends 30 seconds after & he asks me about it. Told him I was on the other team & he had no clue. We had a good laugh about it.

[Trbo323]

Playing at a indoor field, 2v2, I go sliding into a Dorito and feel something rather unpleasant hit me in the family jewels. I look down and think great... It's a bounce, I'm still in and I'm not a quitter. Finish out the game, we win.

2 games later, sliding into the same bunker, smack.... ANOTHER bounce. I'm not moving, I just lay paint and keep my guy in his bunker while my team mate comes around the other side.

I had to stay in my bunker for a few minutes after the game

Sent from my Moto Z (2) using Tapatalk

[OpusX]

Playing in my kilt, with a dump pouch for stock class tubes, I sauntered into a bunker and felt some impacts near my crotch/pouch region. After I checked i saw no break. After the game, I was taking empties out of the dump pouch and found two unbroken balls (different shell than what was using) in the pouch. I laughed a bit, and worked to give back the loaner paint next game.