Home Schooling Day 1

[Nish]

Day 1 of home schooling
0800 opened school website to get assignments.
0900 found where assignments were hidden on the website.
0915 called school to have the website explained.
0930 called school again.
0945 Had wife call school
1030 started printing first assignment
1031 ran out of printer ink
1035 sent wife to buy more ink while I watched YouTube to learn how to do common core.
1039 Had first cocktail
1100 googling who the idiot was that came up with common core.
1102 2nd cocktail.
1115 Called school to see if the virus was still an issue and if so, could I sign a waiver for my kids.
1116 School asked me not to call back.
1120 Realized my wife wasn't home yet. Called her to find out she was having a difficult time finding the right ink. Pretty sure, I heard someone in the background yell her name followed with "Venti vanilla latte!" Right before she hung up on me.
1130 started 1st assignment
1145 lunch break
1230 restarted first assignment.
1235 read 3 chapters to help answer 2 questions.
1240 Figured I'm either being played or they have been falsifying their report card.
1245 practicing disguising my voice so I can call the school again
1300 didnt work
1315 Scraping "My kid is a TERRIFIC student" sticker off of all vehicles.
1400 beginning to think wife isn't coming home
1415 Decided to have an early release.
1430 walking to town in Hope's of catching virus and being quarantined.
1600 arrested for egging school and drinking in public
1615 released and given a ride home to maximize punishment
1800 wife gets home. Couldn't find ink. Pretty sure her hair and nails are done.
2200 working on an excuse to get out of school tomorrow.

[Chappy]

Never been so glad to be at work.

[Rainmaker]

Hahahaha

[DavidBoren]

Common core makes my brain bleed...

[Jonnydread]

Never been so glad to be at work.

Never been so glad to not have crotch goblins

[JonM]

Now for the same day from the student's perspective:

Day 1 of home schooling
0800 Dad opened school website to get my assignments.
0900 Dad found where my assignments were hidden on the website (I don't think he knows what he's doing).
0915 Dad called school to have the website explained (he's soooo embarrassing).
0930 Dad called school again (eye roll).
0945 Dad had Mom call school (whatever...)
1030 Dad started printing first assignment (about damn time)
1031 Dad says the printer ran out of ink (I think I heard him muttering something about having to sell a kidney).
1035 Dad sent Mom to buy more ink while he watched YouTube to learn how to do common core (it's not rocket surgery, old man).
1039 Dad started drinking heavily
1100 OMG. Dad really doesn't know what he's doing
1102 I think the teacher is drunk
1115 Dad called the school to see if the virus was still an issue and if so, could he sign a waiver for me? (Thanks, asshole).
1116 School asked Dad not to call back.
1120 Dad realized my Mom wasn't home yet. He called her to find out she was having a difficult time finding the right ink. Pretty sure, he heard someone in the background yell her name followed with "Venti vanilla latte!" Right before she hung up on him. (Damn. Now I want hot chocolate with whipped cream).
1130 We FINALLY get started (I'm getting hungry)
1145 I never thought I'd miss cafeteria food. A PB&J isn't lunch, Dad. I want chicken nuggets.
1230 Ugh! Dad had me restart the first assignment... AGAIN!
1235 Dad read 3 chapters to help me answer 2 questions (He's so lost).
1240 I'm starting to wish Mom was here. Dad is totally clueless.
1245 I caught Dad practicing disguising his voice so he can call the school again (he's not fooling anyone)
1300 Didn't work (no shit)
1315 Caught Dad scraping "My kid is a TERRIFIC student" sticker off of all vehicles (He's such a drama queen)
1400 Where the hell is Mom?
1415 Dad gave up. Good. Time for Xbox.
1430 Heard Dad saying something about going out for smokes and not coming home
1600 Where the hell is that old man now? Screw it. More time for me.
1615 Suck it noob! Winner, winner, chicken dinner!!!
1800 Mom gets home (Finally)
2200 Heard dad crying in his room (Ok, boomer).

[Seajay]

Not sure what you are complaining about.

My homeschool day.

Open school website.
Input login... doesn't work.
Call school, resend login.
Input login... doesn't work.

Go read those books your Gandma got you.

[Skipdogg]

Sounds about right. But you forgot the summary at the end.

Virtual school = MAKES KIDS STUPID.

Which is fine cause the US has been the most educated country in the world, and not going down the rankings every year as it is... 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

[Lazarus78]

haha. common core is such a foreign concept to older folks. it's not something schools just made up to fuck with boomers. it's how they teach math in countries that are far superior in teaching kids math. BUT the problem is, it's much easier to pick up if you've been taught it from a young age. some states implemented it starting in first grade and year by year, moved all the kids over to it. then there are those states that just crammed it down all student's throats, all at once. for some reason, that wasn't as an effective strategy.

[DavidBoren]

I don't have a problem with common core math as a concept, I am just exceptionally bad at trying to teach it when I am not familiar with it. The kids are supposed to be taught this new system, but I don't know it. Nor am I a certified teacher. So the disconnect is obvious. I don't care if I look like a fool, dad doesn't know what he's doing ha ha ha, but I do absolutely care if these kids are learning what they are supposed to be learning.

[Nish]

This was a joke. Lets keep it light

[DavidBoren]

Fixed it. Sorry.

[Nish]

I just saw the drift starting so I said something.

[glaman5266]

1039 Had first cocktail
1100 googling who the idiot was that came up with common core.
1102 2nd cocktail.

I don't drink much anymore, but this would totally be me if I had to home school our kids. It would drive me nuts.

[lew]

I have a while to prep for homeschooling, but I am working on my day drinking. Never enough practice.