Jonnydread
As the mighty warship USS Painthappy’s Banhammer pulled into port the survivors from paint Island and the SS Walz were relieved. Well, most were anyway. As the ship was unloaded one soggy and slightly leaking body bag was unloaded. After being the only human on the SS Walz that was not a zombie snack, Jonnydread had used the only remaining life raft submersible, which just happened to be missing a door, to jettison himself into the deep blue sea where he promptly drown, was crushed and then was nibbled on by sea life until the crew of the Painthappy's Banhammer could be bothered to retrieve him, some 5 days later. As he was a passenger of the SS Walz the cruise line, Sea Party Rawlins, and their parent company Dockline Krestel Ships were responsible for his well being. Together SPRDKS would have to answer to their insurance about how a passage died. Unless…he wasn't dead…
“Ok doc, you're sure this is going to work?"
“Well, we have the technology, we can rebuild him"
“Yes but…..I don't want to spend that much money"
“.....ok, we still have to tinker with his brain as parts are just missing but maybe we can co-op that computer from patient intake that"
“No no no, we just bought that one and …. Wait. We still have the old one, let's use that one. Sure it was overheating but I doubt this paintballer will be pushing the processor very hard, I heard he bought an ion at one point”
Very good, I know some custom software will be involved but I don't have the programmers for that so, sign up for a free account and let that new fangled bio-electric AI that the tech nerds were working on over in IT sort out the details. What was it again? Oh that's right, Walzatron.
Sntxerror
Reboot.exe…fail
Memory error
Reboot.exe…fail
Input boot file=sprayandpray
Logic error
Reboot force.exe…fail
Shutdown.exe…fail
Shutdownforce.exe…fail
Temp high warning
Temp high critical
Walzarton control…. Accepted
Reboot.exe success
01000110 01110101 01100011 01101011 00100000 01110011 01101101 01100001 01110010 01110100 00100000 01110000 01100001 01110010 01110100 01110011…….2
As Jonnydread came back to consciousness something was…off, his vision for instance, he could only see red. There was a click and suddenly blue was added to the mix, then another click and green added making a full spectrum picture. His memory was, painful? Parts of it were simply missing but he knew there should be things there. He looked to his left and there was a man in a white coat talking but Jonny could not hear him at all. The man reached up to Johnny's head, another click and suddenly Jonny could hear. The man was talking about “acclimation" and getting used to…something. Soon enough the man suggested Jonny take a walk to "see how it went”. Jonny followed the man out the door and down a hallway. Rooms, a large desk area and a seating area greeted Jonny. The man had Jonny sit on a soft chair, there was a TV and a few vending machines nearby. The man was drowning on about something or other when one of the vending machines caught Jonny's eye. He walked over to it, it was advertising paintball gear on it's large touch screen. Before Jonny knew what he was doing he reached out and touched the machine. Upon contact the large screen went black, flashed a multitude of colors and then green text started scrolling up the screen. Finally, a black background with a green llama appeared in the center of the screen with a text box inside “Walzatron control accepted. Now updating all units with new software and paintballs" the unit started to whir, it was printing paintballs. After about 30 seconds there was a clunk and a ma-duece-a slid out from the bottom of the machine along with a pod pack and mask. Jonny picked up the items and putting the mask and pack on turned leaving the badgering man behind, Jonny knew one thing, he must fulfill sprayandpray.exe and the best way to do that was to get out of these crapped hallways.
Doug
“And so, to honor his tremendous courage in the face of imminent danger, I bestow the rank of Captain upon Doug Windinpants and transfer command of our newest ship, the SS Marsgloryhole to him.” Doug couldn't believe it. All his dreams were coming true. One act of bravery (preceded by days of hiding) had catapulted him to where he only dreamed he could be 20 no 30 years from now. Finally he could sail home to show off his new ship to the father that refused to love him growing up. This would have to be enough. His father would no doubt give him that hug he always wanted and sit down to lunch with Doug to be the supportive parent he….
*Screams*
Jonnydread stood alone in the doorway leading into the building. Doug up on stage in front of the Marsgloryhole could not see what was in his hands with all the people in the crowd. Jonny looks to his left and raises his marker, firing at a nearby crane. The crane had just finished putting the last pieces of the Marsgloryhole on yesterday and was working on a new all you can eat buffet ship that was bound for next year's wold cup at sea. The crane jerks one way and then releases the large smoke stack it was carrying. The smoke stack skewers the Marsgloryhole dead center, wreckage and a burst of seawater gush up as the smockstack hits the marina floor going straight through the ship. A series of explosions rip through the Marsgloryhole as various components detonate followed by one final colossal explosion of mayonnaise. As modern ships do not need smoke stacks, the one that skewered the Marsgloryhole was actually the largest tank of mayonnaise ever made to be used for all the club sandwiches at world cup at sea. But as fate would have it, mayonnaise bursting out of Marsgloryhole would be the only thing anyone would remember about the ship Doug was meant to command.
Doug can't believe his eyes and the twist of fate. He turns to find Jonnydread staring back at him. Jonny brings up his ma-duece-a and pulls the trigger. “OOOHHFF" Doug feels like he is in a different world, first his bell is rung by the loss of his ship, then his jingle bells each take a paintball from the double barrels of a ma-duece-a. Doug falls backwards, his body stiff as a board but as he lays on the ground, his eyes illuminate, text scrolls past them and some time later Doug sits up, very mechanical movements take over. Doug is left with only two tasks. 1) find a vending machine that supplies paintball gear and 2) execute sprayandpray.exe with the help of virus laden paintballs. As it turns out, a part biological AI system like Walzatron can infect both humans and machines.
A siren blares, people run in every direction. As everyone in the ship yard realize, the 50 foot walls around the ship yard that were meant to keep Russian spies out are now their prison. Even the entry gates now have 50 foot walls in their place that came up from underground. This is the mother of all lockdowns. Every screen in the shipyard that does not already belong to Walzatron displays a message that reads
LOCKDOWN LOCKDOWN LOCKDOWN
Inspector gadget
“Corporal Capeman what am I looking at?" Master Sargent Jonathan Brown approaches the control panel in the security control center. The keyboard greets him with a shock of static electricity for his haste across the carpet. While sifting through multiple screens the corporal replies "well sir it appears the security lockdown protocols are working. The entire shipyard is locked down, it appears there is a rouge AI on the loose. The lockdown protocols will only be lifted once the air gapped system is satisfied the situation is under control.” The master Sargent feels something twitching against his leg and looks down to discover that it's his own hand, which he can no longer feel. The master Sargent closes his eyes and sighs. The scariest part of the corporals day came when the master Sargent replies in an eerily calm voice “corporal, I want you to initiate the Velcor protocol" “the…um….yes sir" the corporal types for a few seconds and then asks the master Sargent “initiation code sir?" Master Sargent Brown replies “satco 700" the corporal types a few more things and says “done sir, Velcor is coming online" Master Sargent Brown says "very good. I have one last order for you corporal" "yes sir?” "Evacuate" without another word corporal Capeman stands up and walks quickly out of the building. Master Sargent Jonathan Brown realizes that that shock of static electricity, wasn't just a shock. As he can no longer feel his right arm he thinks that sometimes being part mechanical really sucks. His right arm stops twitching, goes still and then draws his ariacron overlord out of its holster on it's own accord.
As panic spreads only a few people realize what's really going on and head for a paintball vending machine. Some of the first ones there see a strange site, a green llama symbol seems to be fighting for space on the screen with a Dopey black outlined Angel on a white background. Even more strange if they get paintball gear from the machine the paintballs that come with it are half green and say “Walz" and half white and say “Velcor". But if this is what they have to use then this is what they have, might as well make the most of it.
#########################
Ok, few notes on how to read my…notes.
Here's an example of what one turn will look like
Trbo323 (TB)
Story goes here
Trbo323 98c AFF
BR 2 continue
700, AFF -100 roll 7 stalemate
600, AFF -100 roll 4, +100
(600) End
Above the story I have my name and in parentheses the TB is how I'm going to abbreviate your screen name in the story. This is just so I don't have to type out your dumb screen name 100 times. Some stories will involve more than one of you guys so there can be multiple names above a story
After the story
First line is my name, what marker I have and what action I chose for this turn
Second line, BR= break roll. The etha won't have this line but for everything else a 10 is a broken marker, for the ion it's 9 or 10
Third line, the first number is how much paint I'm starting this turn with, 700 in this case. Next is the action I chose and how much paint it costs AFF and -100. The result is a roll of 7 which on the 98c chart is a stalemate and a reroll, this now goes down to the next line to start the action over. this also costs another 100 rounds though. On the reroll I rolled a 4 which gives me +100. So I got down to 500 but gained 100 on the last roll.
Last line is how much paint I ended the turn with. Paint is capped at 1000 rounds (1800 for etha).
If you have questions ask
##########################
1) Impactfour (IF)
IF feels lost, this is the strangest building complex he has ever seen and he once visited paintland. He managed to get the first marker he ever used, a 98c out of the vending machine and while he was reminiscing about the first time he ever played paintball at Richard Johnson's birthday party he hears movement coming towards him. He spins to his left just in time to see a dock worker rounding the corner. There's a private label vision impulse in his hands! They both take aim and start shooting, diving for cover IF hears paint flying past his head. He comes back up shooting but soon realizes there's no return fire. He sneaks around and sees the dock worker laying still. Turning the worker over IF sees that behind his right eye there's a black and green llama with a download bar about halfway. His left eye has a white background with a Dopey looking angel, also with a download bar about halfway. It looks like the two AIs are deadlocked and neither can gain control quite yet. IF walks away whistling to himself
1) Impactfour ion AFF
BR 7 continue
700, AFF -100 roll 6 +0
(600) End
2) jpdgas (JG)
3) MrBarraclough (MB)
JG decides that his best course of action is to get to an overwatch position with his T15 so he climbs up a container crane and surveys the yard. It's not long before he starts seeing some movement. He barely identifies JG before he slips behind some boxes. But more interestingly, there's someone following JG. He looks like a welder maybe? He is carrying what can only be described as a welding torch meant to spray paint.
MB makes his way through the yard, slowly, he is a whisper on the wind, nobody can see him…. EXCEPT FOR THAT GUY FOLLOWING ME! MB panics, turns to shoot! Pulls the trigger but nothing happens! He forgot to pump the phantom. He realizes this guy has some kind of sprayer so he turns to run but trips! He also forgot to tie his shoelaces! Crap what a bad day he thinks fumbling with his phantom the guy is getting closer! He is only 20 feet away when there is a resonating crack that echos around the area. The welder falls to his side. A first strike round has plastered the side of his head. MB first pumps his phantom, then ties his shoes…together, then reties them separately and finally gets up but stays low and approaches the welder where he finds 3 pods of paint. One of them though looks different, first strike rounds well, he can't use these but maybe his guardian angel can. He sticks the FSR pod up above the cover, waves it around a bit and leaves it on top of a nearby box. JG comes down from his perch a little later and retrieves the pod.
2) jpdgas T15 AFF
BR 9 continue
700, sniper shot -0 roll 2, +100
(800) End
3) MrBarraclough phantom AFF
BR 4 continue
700, AFF -0 roll 1, +200
900, end
4) NONOBLITUS (NB)
5) Super Nova (SN)
SN feels like a ninja, sneaking around he finds himself in the condiments yard. 55 gallon drums of every condiment surround him. All of the mayonnaise drums are empty of course but the 7 different types of bbq sauce are tempting.
NB is working his way through the pickles section when he sees movement. SN to his left! He brings his phantom up pumps it back but when the pump handle goes forward, it just keeps going forward. With force actually it flies off the barrel shoots about 50 feet and strikes an empty drum of chipotle mayonnaise. A resounding gong is heard everywhere around. SN spins and is already hammering paint down range. His hopper barely keeping up he dumps a pod in. Maybe it came from his right!? SN dumps another pod in, the empty drums are starting to find their beat as the 3rd pod goes in. SN is accidentally playing a steel from solo. He may name it 4th pod down and play on the album, 5th pod reserve. As the cloud of paint mist finally dissipates enough to see, SN the human jack hammer notices a lump. He goes over to investigate the very soggy NB who probably got hit by one of the first few rounds and then absolutely covered in paint splatter from the follow up 5 pods of paint. SN uses his foot to roll NB over and there remains a perfect outline of him on the ground where paint didn't land. SN finds one pod that was under NB, shoves it in his pack and clears the very contaminated area.
4) NONOBLITUS phantom DP
BR 10 broken marker!
Return to vending roll 9
Out, used logged out
5) Super Nova phantom AFF
BR 6 continue
700 AFF -0 roll 6 DFF
700 DFF -100 roll 6 stalemate
600 DFF -100 roll 7 stalemate
500 DFF -100 roll 6 stalemate
400 DFF -100 roll 6 stalemate
300 DFF -100 roll 3, +100
(300) End
6) The Hobbit (TH)
TH fiddles with his ion, the power button is sticking and PAK PAK PAK Oh crap it's on already and on a ramping mode. He looks down a hallway to see a woman just landing on the floor, paperwork everywhere. That accidental discharge may have ended Becky the office workers day early but among the things she is caring theres 2 pods. Well, she doesn't need them anymore, TH picks them up and wanders off
6) The Hobbit ion AFF
BR 4 continue
700, AFF -100 roll 2, +200
(800) End
7) Cdn_Cuda (CC)
CC stands in front of the wall that is now the security gate. “I really hate this country" he mutters under his breath. But then he realizes, he is not really sure which country he is in. He does miss his maple syrup though and can't wait to get home, his pet moose is probably really missing him. CC catches movement out of the corner of his eye! It's the security guard coming out of the shack, they both pause and stare at each other before bringing their markers up and unleashing streams. The security guards ego 6 is a paint slinging monster from the days of cheater boards and no oversight. CC isn't a slouch either though with both barrels of his ma-duece-a. Paint flying through the air in both directions, CC unleashes a good string, his paint is colliding with the security guards in the air but unlike the guard, CC has 2 barrels. One paintball sneaks through and catches the guard on the shoulder. Everything goes still and quiet. CC checks the security shack, grabs a pod of paint but realizes there's nothing that will open the gate. Guess he is stuck here, wherever here is for a while longer.
7) Cdn_Cuda ma-duce-a AFF (esc at 300)
BR 5 continue
700, AFF -100 roll 6, +0
(600) End
8) XEMON (XM)
9) Jimmydee (JD)
XM and JD were enjoying a lovely club sub together. XM eating from one end and JD eating from the other. They had just about reached the magic center point when the sirens started and everything went to crap. They decided to stick together for the moment. They had both been through this carnival before though, they both knew this was a short term relationship as they got their gear from the vending machine. Turning down the hall they open a door to head outside and are met by an onslaught of paint. Turns out the courtyard where Doug was getting his promotion was a bad choice. XM slings paint back, JD runs back and starts laying paint down a side hall he sees movement in. They can't get pinned in right here. JD moves down to the next hallway, XM holds off a hoard of news reporters but is forced to retreat. Wait. Did JD go left or right? He hears the doors behind him burst open, right! He dives for cover. As JD circles back he is cut off by a group of accountants. One barrels around the corner right into JD but JD manages to have his 98c up and puts one straight into his stomach. As the pair fall backwards JD holds still and crashes into the ground with the accountant. He lays there and before long more footsteps approach but run right past without noticing. After a while JD rolls the accountant off, snags a pod from him and wanders off wondering if he will ever see XM again.
XM is lost, having to run and gun through these halls has taken it's toll. He ducks into a janitors closet slams the door and hopes nobody is in there. As everything stills he realizes he is alone. Looks at his empty hopper and up at the shelves. Hey sweet! A pod! XM dumps it in and tries to think what his next move should be.
8) XEMON ma-duece-a AFF (esc 200)
BR 2, continue
700, AFF -100 roll 3 +100
(700) End
9) Jimmydee 98c AFF
BR 3 continue
700, AFF -100, roll 4 +100
(700) End
10) morpheus (MP)
11) GattoDiavolo (GD)
MP never liked cruise ships so he is glad to be back on solid ground. Even still the events that have happened to him in the past and now present seem to feel, well a little made up if he is honest. Coming around the corner he is nearly stitched up by a line of paint. GD is blasting everything his ion can pump out. MP slides into cover and then moves again as GD is still blasting away. MP sees his shot, comes up from cover just as GD is moving between boxes. MP aligns GD in the center of his amazing carmatech supremacy v3 scope, pulls the trigger…and hears a clatter as his magazine falls out. WHAT!? he thinks, bending down to retrieve it he realizes that his bolt and a few other bits of his marker are also on the ground. NO! MP dives back into cover. He throws his now useless T15 to the side. GD throws some paint at….MPs marker? Did he drop it or something? Realizing MP is defenceless GD sprints towards his cover and comes around it to find, nothing. He goes around it again, nothing on the other side. He can hear MP though, they are both circling the stack of boxes in the same direction. Even still GD wasn't crowned neighborhood tag champion for nothing. He starts running again, around and around slowly gaining on MP each revolution. By the time both are just about to fall over GD dives and fires! He catches MP on the foot! MP collapses, download process starting. GD has to sit down for a few minutes until the world stops spinning. Looks like MP only has FSR on him though, nothing GD can use. GD wanders off. Wondering just what he has gotten himself into this time
10) morpheus T15 AFF
BR 10 broken marker!
Return to vending roll 8
Out, user logged out
11) GattoDiavolo ion AFF (until 200)
BR 5 continue
700, AFF -100 roll 7 +0
(600) End
12) EvilCreature (EC)
EC finds himself in, a bounce house yard? Why would a shipping yard even need this? Well whatever might as well see what's in here. After bouncing through the clown's mouth and out of the chickens…. Well out of the chicken anyway he finds a very odd sight. A bounce house of the Titanic in mid destruction. Odd enough for someone to make this, odder still for a ship yard to have it. Even still. When in Rome. He heads to the top, it's pretty far up and slides down the deck, it's actually pretty fun he lands softly at the bottom but when he stops he hears something bouncing down the slide as well. He looks up just in time to catch a pod of paint…with his face. Rubbing his nose he pockets the paint and moves on to new, hopefully less morbid adventures.
12) EvilCreature ion search
BR 3 continue
700 search roll 5 +100
(800) End
13) Myrkul (MK)
14) loveaboveall (LA)
#######################
Let's find out (as a disclaimer, myrkul made this bet after I had already done the rolls, I have only kept the answer from everyone not that it would have affected the outcome anyway, I use Google to roll a D10)
########################
LA finds himself wandering through a section of the ship yard that looks like it's dedicated to shipping cars. As he eyeballs a sweet 69 fastback mustang he thinks, if only I could drive it away. While the yard does have cars, to be more precise it has Hot wheels cars. There are boxes and crates and containers everywhere and they are all packed with the toy cars. LAs marker begins to buzz and whirl, gears clank and he is pretty sure he hears a rubber chicken in there but soon it quiets down and says “process complete" LA looks in the hopper to find an extra 100 paintballs. They are the same green and white ones that came in his pod pack so clearly the computer virus got into his marker to affect paint production but he suspects it doesn't have enough processing power to host a version of the AIs.
He sees movement to his left. He sneaks around and finds MK looking at a stack of Oscar Myer wiener mobile hot wheels. MK looks up just as LA aims. MK only has time to take cover as the paint starts flying. He needs to move quick. Thinking fast be throws a bunch of the mobile hot dogs on the ground and a nearby board goes on top of them, with a short running start MK dives onto the board and rolls his way over to a stack of pallets. Never imagining he would be surfing weiners as an escape he gets his bearings, pops out from behind the pallets, pulls the trigger and…nothing. Crap! He forgot to cock his 98c, deftly he reaches for the cocking lever knowing exactly where it will be since his first game in 1998 with a prototype m98. His hand grapes at…nothing. He looks down, the cocking lever is gone! It's simply not there! CRAP! MK does the only thing he can in this situation.
LA sees more movement, he shoots, hits it…. Shoots more, hours out again but It's still coming, cartwheeling through the air it's a bird, it's a plane, it's…a 98c? The marker lands just short of LA. He dumps a new pod in as he sees MK running off. Leading his shot he puts a good burst between two containers and is rewarded with a solid slap as one impacts MK. LA stands up and, hey, notices a pod of paint in the crate of mini Cooper's at his feet. Sweet, he pockets it and moves on.
MK lays on the ground, a misty white light starts creeping in along with rows of text but one thing is for sure, as he stares up at the sky he sees a hand, impossibly long arm coming down from the heavens. It places a single pod on his chest and pats him on the head, then disappears as quickly as it came.
13) Myrkul 98c AFF
BR 10 broken marker!
Return to vending roll 6 get lost
Return to vending roll 8
Out, user logged out
14) loveaboveall DP9000 AFF
BR 9 continue
700 Make paint +100 roll 3 continue
800 AFF -100 roll 7 stalemate
700 AFF -100 roll 3 +100
(700) End
16) Painthappy (PH)
PH is not going anywhere. He has his trusty 98c and a castle. Well, not a normal castle, it's a birthday cake castle. He finds a secluded corner, grabs his fork and takes a big bite out of the wall next to him. Strawberry, not his favorite but it will do. He tries the other wall of his corner, confetti! This wall is getting eaten first. As he happily munches away he hears something. Someone approaching, it's the baker! As the baker rounds the sprinkle covered corner he sees the chunks missing from the walls that PH ate. Engaged he starts shooting paintballs from a marker he had hidden under his apron! PH is in a pretty good spot though and keeps his head down. PH knows his moment is coming. Years as a child at the candy shack taught him this valuable lesson. Sure enough, right on que, the sugar rush appears. PH breaks from cover, sprinting and barely able to be seen by the human eye, he simultaneously hammers on the trigger of the 98c, by the time he reaches the other wall all of 10 feet away he has emptied his hopper and scored about 40 hits on the baker. His 98c is actually smoking because it was running at something approaching 60bps. The down side to having this suffer rush knowledge is the inevitable sugar crash. PH ducks into a room where he finds a triple later bed and flops down, knowing it might be dangerous but he doesn't really have a choice right now.
16) Painthappy 98c DP
BR 2 continue
700, AFF -100, roll 5 +0
(600) End
17) Jonnydread (JD)
JD is fulfilling sprayandpray.exe to the best of his abilities. If he sees someone he shoots, if he doesn't see anyone, he still shoots. Movement! JD spins, unloading the double barrels of his ma-duece-a on a very unsuspecting…plastic bag. But the bag doesn't move much. Odd, JD goes to see what's inside. He finds one pod of paint. Well, it will replace the rounds he just used defending against the bag they were in.
17) Jonnydread ma-duce-a AFF (esc at 300)
BR 1 continue
700, AFF -100 roll 4 +100
(700) End
18) Glovebox Operator (GO)
GO was working as a forklift driver in the ship yard when fecal matter struck the air moving device. His quick thinking saved his ass multiple times already and he managed to get himself a marker soon after. Now though, he has his etha and his forklift but doesn't really know where to go. He is driving around the warehouse he normal works in when he sees his boss Frank come out of the office. Frank walks up to GO and says “man, this is just crazy, I've never seen anything like it. Hey GO can you please move that" pak pak pak pak pak pak pak pak pak pak pak pak pak pak pak pak pak pak. Frank falls to the floor. GO looks at him and says, “Frank never says please, nice try AI garbage, I'm coming for you next" *beep beep* and he rolls away on the forklift.
18) Glovebox Operator etha DP
1800 DP -100 roll 5, +0
(1700) end
19) Heavy_D (HD)
20) martix_agent (MA)
MA has been through this before. He knows the drill, shoot them before they shoot you. He just better watch out for Clark Smigman this time. As MA wanders around here finds something odd. The entry way is labeled “the snake factory" as he walks in he realizes it's full of bunkers for world cup. But only snake combinations. “Snakes…I hate snakes” MA says as he enters. He is just about to leave when the sound of a marker firing makes him dive into a knuckle. HD has spotted him and is laying paint into his bunker. MA thinks fast, HD is at about S42 from the looks of this place. MA returns fire. HD pops up again, this time from S5î. MA moves a few spots and shoots back. MA is getting too old to play snake though. He dumps a pod in and comes up with an idea. Using the empty pod he hurls it down a ways. It strikes a bunker and he hears HD shooting in that direction. Instead of trying to confront HD though MA beats feet for the exit. HD figures out what MA is doing and lays a string of paint straight towards the exit door. The first of the paint breaks on the door just a MA gets around it. Happy to be out of that mess MA is fine using that paint to get away. HD figures for the moment he will stay here, crawling the snake.
19) Heavy_D ma-duece-a DP
BR 9 continue
700, DP -100 roll 4 +0
(600) End
20) martix_agent etha AFF
1800 AFF -100 roll 4 +0
(1700) End
Sent from my motorola edge 2024 using Tapatalk
As the mighty warship USS Painthappy’s Banhammer pulled into port the survivors from paint Island and the SS Walz were relieved. Well, most were anyway. As the ship was unloaded one soggy and slightly leaking body bag was unloaded. After being the only human on the SS Walz that was not a zombie snack, Jonnydread had used the only remaining life raft submersible, which just happened to be missing a door, to jettison himself into the deep blue sea where he promptly drown, was crushed and then was nibbled on by sea life until the crew of the Painthappy's Banhammer could be bothered to retrieve him, some 5 days later. As he was a passenger of the SS Walz the cruise line, Sea Party Rawlins, and their parent company Dockline Krestel Ships were responsible for his well being. Together SPRDKS would have to answer to their insurance about how a passage died. Unless…he wasn't dead…
“Ok doc, you're sure this is going to work?"
“Well, we have the technology, we can rebuild him"
“Yes but…..I don't want to spend that much money"
“.....ok, we still have to tinker with his brain as parts are just missing but maybe we can co-op that computer from patient intake that"
“No no no, we just bought that one and …. Wait. We still have the old one, let's use that one. Sure it was overheating but I doubt this paintballer will be pushing the processor very hard, I heard he bought an ion at one point”
Very good, I know some custom software will be involved but I don't have the programmers for that so, sign up for a free account and let that new fangled bio-electric AI that the tech nerds were working on over in IT sort out the details. What was it again? Oh that's right, Walzatron.
Sntxerror
Reboot.exe…fail
Memory error
Reboot.exe…fail
Input boot file=sprayandpray
Logic error
Reboot force.exe…fail
Shutdown.exe…fail
Shutdownforce.exe…fail
Temp high warning
Temp high critical
Walzarton control…. Accepted
Reboot.exe success
01000110 01110101 01100011 01101011 00100000 01110011 01101101 01100001 01110010 01110100 00100000 01110000 01100001 01110010 01110100 01110011…….2
As Jonnydread came back to consciousness something was…off, his vision for instance, he could only see red. There was a click and suddenly blue was added to the mix, then another click and green added making a full spectrum picture. His memory was, painful? Parts of it were simply missing but he knew there should be things there. He looked to his left and there was a man in a white coat talking but Jonny could not hear him at all. The man reached up to Johnny's head, another click and suddenly Jonny could hear. The man was talking about “acclimation" and getting used to…something. Soon enough the man suggested Jonny take a walk to "see how it went”. Jonny followed the man out the door and down a hallway. Rooms, a large desk area and a seating area greeted Jonny. The man had Jonny sit on a soft chair, there was a TV and a few vending machines nearby. The man was drowning on about something or other when one of the vending machines caught Jonny's eye. He walked over to it, it was advertising paintball gear on it's large touch screen. Before Jonny knew what he was doing he reached out and touched the machine. Upon contact the large screen went black, flashed a multitude of colors and then green text started scrolling up the screen. Finally, a black background with a green llama appeared in the center of the screen with a text box inside “Walzatron control accepted. Now updating all units with new software and paintballs" the unit started to whir, it was printing paintballs. After about 30 seconds there was a clunk and a ma-duece-a slid out from the bottom of the machine along with a pod pack and mask. Jonny picked up the items and putting the mask and pack on turned leaving the badgering man behind, Jonny knew one thing, he must fulfill sprayandpray.exe and the best way to do that was to get out of these crapped hallways.
Doug
“And so, to honor his tremendous courage in the face of imminent danger, I bestow the rank of Captain upon Doug Windinpants and transfer command of our newest ship, the SS Marsgloryhole to him.” Doug couldn't believe it. All his dreams were coming true. One act of bravery (preceded by days of hiding) had catapulted him to where he only dreamed he could be 20 no 30 years from now. Finally he could sail home to show off his new ship to the father that refused to love him growing up. This would have to be enough. His father would no doubt give him that hug he always wanted and sit down to lunch with Doug to be the supportive parent he….
*Screams*
Jonnydread stood alone in the doorway leading into the building. Doug up on stage in front of the Marsgloryhole could not see what was in his hands with all the people in the crowd. Jonny looks to his left and raises his marker, firing at a nearby crane. The crane had just finished putting the last pieces of the Marsgloryhole on yesterday and was working on a new all you can eat buffet ship that was bound for next year's wold cup at sea. The crane jerks one way and then releases the large smoke stack it was carrying. The smoke stack skewers the Marsgloryhole dead center, wreckage and a burst of seawater gush up as the smockstack hits the marina floor going straight through the ship. A series of explosions rip through the Marsgloryhole as various components detonate followed by one final colossal explosion of mayonnaise. As modern ships do not need smoke stacks, the one that skewered the Marsgloryhole was actually the largest tank of mayonnaise ever made to be used for all the club sandwiches at world cup at sea. But as fate would have it, mayonnaise bursting out of Marsgloryhole would be the only thing anyone would remember about the ship Doug was meant to command.
Doug can't believe his eyes and the twist of fate. He turns to find Jonnydread staring back at him. Jonny brings up his ma-duece-a and pulls the trigger. “OOOHHFF" Doug feels like he is in a different world, first his bell is rung by the loss of his ship, then his jingle bells each take a paintball from the double barrels of a ma-duece-a. Doug falls backwards, his body stiff as a board but as he lays on the ground, his eyes illuminate, text scrolls past them and some time later Doug sits up, very mechanical movements take over. Doug is left with only two tasks. 1) find a vending machine that supplies paintball gear and 2) execute sprayandpray.exe with the help of virus laden paintballs. As it turns out, a part biological AI system like Walzatron can infect both humans and machines.
A siren blares, people run in every direction. As everyone in the ship yard realize, the 50 foot walls around the ship yard that were meant to keep Russian spies out are now their prison. Even the entry gates now have 50 foot walls in their place that came up from underground. This is the mother of all lockdowns. Every screen in the shipyard that does not already belong to Walzatron displays a message that reads
LOCKDOWN LOCKDOWN LOCKDOWN
Inspector gadget
“Corporal Capeman what am I looking at?" Master Sargent Jonathan Brown approaches the control panel in the security control center. The keyboard greets him with a shock of static electricity for his haste across the carpet. While sifting through multiple screens the corporal replies "well sir it appears the security lockdown protocols are working. The entire shipyard is locked down, it appears there is a rouge AI on the loose. The lockdown protocols will only be lifted once the air gapped system is satisfied the situation is under control.” The master Sargent feels something twitching against his leg and looks down to discover that it's his own hand, which he can no longer feel. The master Sargent closes his eyes and sighs. The scariest part of the corporals day came when the master Sargent replies in an eerily calm voice “corporal, I want you to initiate the Velcor protocol" “the…um….yes sir" the corporal types for a few seconds and then asks the master Sargent “initiation code sir?" Master Sargent Brown replies “satco 700" the corporal types a few more things and says “done sir, Velcor is coming online" Master Sargent Brown says "very good. I have one last order for you corporal" "yes sir?” "Evacuate" without another word corporal Capeman stands up and walks quickly out of the building. Master Sargent Jonathan Brown realizes that that shock of static electricity, wasn't just a shock. As he can no longer feel his right arm he thinks that sometimes being part mechanical really sucks. His right arm stops twitching, goes still and then draws his ariacron overlord out of its holster on it's own accord.
As panic spreads only a few people realize what's really going on and head for a paintball vending machine. Some of the first ones there see a strange site, a green llama symbol seems to be fighting for space on the screen with a Dopey black outlined Angel on a white background. Even more strange if they get paintball gear from the machine the paintballs that come with it are half green and say “Walz" and half white and say “Velcor". But if this is what they have to use then this is what they have, might as well make the most of it.
#########################
Ok, few notes on how to read my…notes.
Here's an example of what one turn will look like
Trbo323 (TB)
Story goes here
Trbo323 98c AFF
BR 2 continue
700, AFF -100 roll 7 stalemate
600, AFF -100 roll 4, +100
(600) End
Above the story I have my name and in parentheses the TB is how I'm going to abbreviate your screen name in the story. This is just so I don't have to type out your dumb screen name 100 times. Some stories will involve more than one of you guys so there can be multiple names above a story
After the story
First line is my name, what marker I have and what action I chose for this turn
Second line, BR= break roll. The etha won't have this line but for everything else a 10 is a broken marker, for the ion it's 9 or 10
Third line, the first number is how much paint I'm starting this turn with, 700 in this case. Next is the action I chose and how much paint it costs AFF and -100. The result is a roll of 7 which on the 98c chart is a stalemate and a reroll, this now goes down to the next line to start the action over. this also costs another 100 rounds though. On the reroll I rolled a 4 which gives me +100. So I got down to 500 but gained 100 on the last roll.
Last line is how much paint I ended the turn with. Paint is capped at 1000 rounds (1800 for etha).
If you have questions ask
##########################
1) Impactfour (IF)
IF feels lost, this is the strangest building complex he has ever seen and he once visited paintland. He managed to get the first marker he ever used, a 98c out of the vending machine and while he was reminiscing about the first time he ever played paintball at Richard Johnson's birthday party he hears movement coming towards him. He spins to his left just in time to see a dock worker rounding the corner. There's a private label vision impulse in his hands! They both take aim and start shooting, diving for cover IF hears paint flying past his head. He comes back up shooting but soon realizes there's no return fire. He sneaks around and sees the dock worker laying still. Turning the worker over IF sees that behind his right eye there's a black and green llama with a download bar about halfway. His left eye has a white background with a Dopey looking angel, also with a download bar about halfway. It looks like the two AIs are deadlocked and neither can gain control quite yet. IF walks away whistling to himself
1) Impactfour ion AFF
BR 7 continue
700, AFF -100 roll 6 +0
(600) End
2) jpdgas (JG)
3) MrBarraclough (MB)
JG decides that his best course of action is to get to an overwatch position with his T15 so he climbs up a container crane and surveys the yard. It's not long before he starts seeing some movement. He barely identifies JG before he slips behind some boxes. But more interestingly, there's someone following JG. He looks like a welder maybe? He is carrying what can only be described as a welding torch meant to spray paint.
MB makes his way through the yard, slowly, he is a whisper on the wind, nobody can see him…. EXCEPT FOR THAT GUY FOLLOWING ME! MB panics, turns to shoot! Pulls the trigger but nothing happens! He forgot to pump the phantom. He realizes this guy has some kind of sprayer so he turns to run but trips! He also forgot to tie his shoelaces! Crap what a bad day he thinks fumbling with his phantom the guy is getting closer! He is only 20 feet away when there is a resonating crack that echos around the area. The welder falls to his side. A first strike round has plastered the side of his head. MB first pumps his phantom, then ties his shoes…together, then reties them separately and finally gets up but stays low and approaches the welder where he finds 3 pods of paint. One of them though looks different, first strike rounds well, he can't use these but maybe his guardian angel can. He sticks the FSR pod up above the cover, waves it around a bit and leaves it on top of a nearby box. JG comes down from his perch a little later and retrieves the pod.
2) jpdgas T15 AFF
BR 9 continue
700, sniper shot -0 roll 2, +100
(800) End
3) MrBarraclough phantom AFF
BR 4 continue
700, AFF -0 roll 1, +200
900, end
4) NONOBLITUS (NB)
5) Super Nova (SN)
SN feels like a ninja, sneaking around he finds himself in the condiments yard. 55 gallon drums of every condiment surround him. All of the mayonnaise drums are empty of course but the 7 different types of bbq sauce are tempting.
NB is working his way through the pickles section when he sees movement. SN to his left! He brings his phantom up pumps it back but when the pump handle goes forward, it just keeps going forward. With force actually it flies off the barrel shoots about 50 feet and strikes an empty drum of chipotle mayonnaise. A resounding gong is heard everywhere around. SN spins and is already hammering paint down range. His hopper barely keeping up he dumps a pod in. Maybe it came from his right!? SN dumps another pod in, the empty drums are starting to find their beat as the 3rd pod goes in. SN is accidentally playing a steel from solo. He may name it 4th pod down and play on the album, 5th pod reserve. As the cloud of paint mist finally dissipates enough to see, SN the human jack hammer notices a lump. He goes over to investigate the very soggy NB who probably got hit by one of the first few rounds and then absolutely covered in paint splatter from the follow up 5 pods of paint. SN uses his foot to roll NB over and there remains a perfect outline of him on the ground where paint didn't land. SN finds one pod that was under NB, shoves it in his pack and clears the very contaminated area.
4) NONOBLITUS phantom DP
BR 10 broken marker!
Return to vending roll 9
Out, used logged out
5) Super Nova phantom AFF
BR 6 continue
700 AFF -0 roll 6 DFF
700 DFF -100 roll 6 stalemate
600 DFF -100 roll 7 stalemate
500 DFF -100 roll 6 stalemate
400 DFF -100 roll 6 stalemate
300 DFF -100 roll 3, +100
(300) End
6) The Hobbit (TH)
TH fiddles with his ion, the power button is sticking and PAK PAK PAK Oh crap it's on already and on a ramping mode. He looks down a hallway to see a woman just landing on the floor, paperwork everywhere. That accidental discharge may have ended Becky the office workers day early but among the things she is caring theres 2 pods. Well, she doesn't need them anymore, TH picks them up and wanders off
6) The Hobbit ion AFF
BR 4 continue
700, AFF -100 roll 2, +200
(800) End
7) Cdn_Cuda (CC)
CC stands in front of the wall that is now the security gate. “I really hate this country" he mutters under his breath. But then he realizes, he is not really sure which country he is in. He does miss his maple syrup though and can't wait to get home, his pet moose is probably really missing him. CC catches movement out of the corner of his eye! It's the security guard coming out of the shack, they both pause and stare at each other before bringing their markers up and unleashing streams. The security guards ego 6 is a paint slinging monster from the days of cheater boards and no oversight. CC isn't a slouch either though with both barrels of his ma-duece-a. Paint flying through the air in both directions, CC unleashes a good string, his paint is colliding with the security guards in the air but unlike the guard, CC has 2 barrels. One paintball sneaks through and catches the guard on the shoulder. Everything goes still and quiet. CC checks the security shack, grabs a pod of paint but realizes there's nothing that will open the gate. Guess he is stuck here, wherever here is for a while longer.
7) Cdn_Cuda ma-duce-a AFF (esc at 300)
BR 5 continue
700, AFF -100 roll 6, +0
(600) End
8) XEMON (XM)
9) Jimmydee (JD)
XM and JD were enjoying a lovely club sub together. XM eating from one end and JD eating from the other. They had just about reached the magic center point when the sirens started and everything went to crap. They decided to stick together for the moment. They had both been through this carnival before though, they both knew this was a short term relationship as they got their gear from the vending machine. Turning down the hall they open a door to head outside and are met by an onslaught of paint. Turns out the courtyard where Doug was getting his promotion was a bad choice. XM slings paint back, JD runs back and starts laying paint down a side hall he sees movement in. They can't get pinned in right here. JD moves down to the next hallway, XM holds off a hoard of news reporters but is forced to retreat. Wait. Did JD go left or right? He hears the doors behind him burst open, right! He dives for cover. As JD circles back he is cut off by a group of accountants. One barrels around the corner right into JD but JD manages to have his 98c up and puts one straight into his stomach. As the pair fall backwards JD holds still and crashes into the ground with the accountant. He lays there and before long more footsteps approach but run right past without noticing. After a while JD rolls the accountant off, snags a pod from him and wanders off wondering if he will ever see XM again.
XM is lost, having to run and gun through these halls has taken it's toll. He ducks into a janitors closet slams the door and hopes nobody is in there. As everything stills he realizes he is alone. Looks at his empty hopper and up at the shelves. Hey sweet! A pod! XM dumps it in and tries to think what his next move should be.
8) XEMON ma-duece-a AFF (esc 200)
BR 2, continue
700, AFF -100 roll 3 +100
(700) End
9) Jimmydee 98c AFF
BR 3 continue
700, AFF -100, roll 4 +100
(700) End
10) morpheus (MP)
11) GattoDiavolo (GD)
MP never liked cruise ships so he is glad to be back on solid ground. Even still the events that have happened to him in the past and now present seem to feel, well a little made up if he is honest. Coming around the corner he is nearly stitched up by a line of paint. GD is blasting everything his ion can pump out. MP slides into cover and then moves again as GD is still blasting away. MP sees his shot, comes up from cover just as GD is moving between boxes. MP aligns GD in the center of his amazing carmatech supremacy v3 scope, pulls the trigger…and hears a clatter as his magazine falls out. WHAT!? he thinks, bending down to retrieve it he realizes that his bolt and a few other bits of his marker are also on the ground. NO! MP dives back into cover. He throws his now useless T15 to the side. GD throws some paint at….MPs marker? Did he drop it or something? Realizing MP is defenceless GD sprints towards his cover and comes around it to find, nothing. He goes around it again, nothing on the other side. He can hear MP though, they are both circling the stack of boxes in the same direction. Even still GD wasn't crowned neighborhood tag champion for nothing. He starts running again, around and around slowly gaining on MP each revolution. By the time both are just about to fall over GD dives and fires! He catches MP on the foot! MP collapses, download process starting. GD has to sit down for a few minutes until the world stops spinning. Looks like MP only has FSR on him though, nothing GD can use. GD wanders off. Wondering just what he has gotten himself into this time
10) morpheus T15 AFF
BR 10 broken marker!
Return to vending roll 8
Out, user logged out
11) GattoDiavolo ion AFF (until 200)
BR 5 continue
700, AFF -100 roll 7 +0
(600) End
12) EvilCreature (EC)
EC finds himself in, a bounce house yard? Why would a shipping yard even need this? Well whatever might as well see what's in here. After bouncing through the clown's mouth and out of the chickens…. Well out of the chicken anyway he finds a very odd sight. A bounce house of the Titanic in mid destruction. Odd enough for someone to make this, odder still for a ship yard to have it. Even still. When in Rome. He heads to the top, it's pretty far up and slides down the deck, it's actually pretty fun he lands softly at the bottom but when he stops he hears something bouncing down the slide as well. He looks up just in time to catch a pod of paint…with his face. Rubbing his nose he pockets the paint and moves on to new, hopefully less morbid adventures.
12) EvilCreature ion search
BR 3 continue
700 search roll 5 +100
(800) End
13) Myrkul (MK)
14) loveaboveall (LA)
#######################
Let's find out (as a disclaimer, myrkul made this bet after I had already done the rolls, I have only kept the answer from everyone not that it would have affected the outcome anyway, I use Google to roll a D10)
########################
LA finds himself wandering through a section of the ship yard that looks like it's dedicated to shipping cars. As he eyeballs a sweet 69 fastback mustang he thinks, if only I could drive it away. While the yard does have cars, to be more precise it has Hot wheels cars. There are boxes and crates and containers everywhere and they are all packed with the toy cars. LAs marker begins to buzz and whirl, gears clank and he is pretty sure he hears a rubber chicken in there but soon it quiets down and says “process complete" LA looks in the hopper to find an extra 100 paintballs. They are the same green and white ones that came in his pod pack so clearly the computer virus got into his marker to affect paint production but he suspects it doesn't have enough processing power to host a version of the AIs.
He sees movement to his left. He sneaks around and finds MK looking at a stack of Oscar Myer wiener mobile hot wheels. MK looks up just as LA aims. MK only has time to take cover as the paint starts flying. He needs to move quick. Thinking fast be throws a bunch of the mobile hot dogs on the ground and a nearby board goes on top of them, with a short running start MK dives onto the board and rolls his way over to a stack of pallets. Never imagining he would be surfing weiners as an escape he gets his bearings, pops out from behind the pallets, pulls the trigger and…nothing. Crap! He forgot to cock his 98c, deftly he reaches for the cocking lever knowing exactly where it will be since his first game in 1998 with a prototype m98. His hand grapes at…nothing. He looks down, the cocking lever is gone! It's simply not there! CRAP! MK does the only thing he can in this situation.
LA sees more movement, he shoots, hits it…. Shoots more, hours out again but It's still coming, cartwheeling through the air it's a bird, it's a plane, it's…a 98c? The marker lands just short of LA. He dumps a new pod in as he sees MK running off. Leading his shot he puts a good burst between two containers and is rewarded with a solid slap as one impacts MK. LA stands up and, hey, notices a pod of paint in the crate of mini Cooper's at his feet. Sweet, he pockets it and moves on.
MK lays on the ground, a misty white light starts creeping in along with rows of text but one thing is for sure, as he stares up at the sky he sees a hand, impossibly long arm coming down from the heavens. It places a single pod on his chest and pats him on the head, then disappears as quickly as it came.
13) Myrkul 98c AFF
BR 10 broken marker!
Return to vending roll 6 get lost
Return to vending roll 8
Out, user logged out
14) loveaboveall DP9000 AFF
BR 9 continue
700 Make paint +100 roll 3 continue
800 AFF -100 roll 7 stalemate
700 AFF -100 roll 3 +100
(700) End
16) Painthappy (PH)
PH is not going anywhere. He has his trusty 98c and a castle. Well, not a normal castle, it's a birthday cake castle. He finds a secluded corner, grabs his fork and takes a big bite out of the wall next to him. Strawberry, not his favorite but it will do. He tries the other wall of his corner, confetti! This wall is getting eaten first. As he happily munches away he hears something. Someone approaching, it's the baker! As the baker rounds the sprinkle covered corner he sees the chunks missing from the walls that PH ate. Engaged he starts shooting paintballs from a marker he had hidden under his apron! PH is in a pretty good spot though and keeps his head down. PH knows his moment is coming. Years as a child at the candy shack taught him this valuable lesson. Sure enough, right on que, the sugar rush appears. PH breaks from cover, sprinting and barely able to be seen by the human eye, he simultaneously hammers on the trigger of the 98c, by the time he reaches the other wall all of 10 feet away he has emptied his hopper and scored about 40 hits on the baker. His 98c is actually smoking because it was running at something approaching 60bps. The down side to having this suffer rush knowledge is the inevitable sugar crash. PH ducks into a room where he finds a triple later bed and flops down, knowing it might be dangerous but he doesn't really have a choice right now.
16) Painthappy 98c DP
BR 2 continue
700, AFF -100, roll 5 +0
(600) End
17) Jonnydread (JD)
JD is fulfilling sprayandpray.exe to the best of his abilities. If he sees someone he shoots, if he doesn't see anyone, he still shoots. Movement! JD spins, unloading the double barrels of his ma-duece-a on a very unsuspecting…plastic bag. But the bag doesn't move much. Odd, JD goes to see what's inside. He finds one pod of paint. Well, it will replace the rounds he just used defending against the bag they were in.
17) Jonnydread ma-duce-a AFF (esc at 300)
BR 1 continue
700, AFF -100 roll 4 +100
(700) End
18) Glovebox Operator (GO)
GO was working as a forklift driver in the ship yard when fecal matter struck the air moving device. His quick thinking saved his ass multiple times already and he managed to get himself a marker soon after. Now though, he has his etha and his forklift but doesn't really know where to go. He is driving around the warehouse he normal works in when he sees his boss Frank come out of the office. Frank walks up to GO and says “man, this is just crazy, I've never seen anything like it. Hey GO can you please move that" pak pak pak pak pak pak pak pak pak pak pak pak pak pak pak pak pak pak. Frank falls to the floor. GO looks at him and says, “Frank never says please, nice try AI garbage, I'm coming for you next" *beep beep* and he rolls away on the forklift.
18) Glovebox Operator etha DP
1800 DP -100 roll 5, +0
(1700) end
19) Heavy_D (HD)
20) martix_agent (MA)
MA has been through this before. He knows the drill, shoot them before they shoot you. He just better watch out for Clark Smigman this time. As MA wanders around here finds something odd. The entry way is labeled “the snake factory" as he walks in he realizes it's full of bunkers for world cup. But only snake combinations. “Snakes…I hate snakes” MA says as he enters. He is just about to leave when the sound of a marker firing makes him dive into a knuckle. HD has spotted him and is laying paint into his bunker. MA thinks fast, HD is at about S42 from the looks of this place. MA returns fire. HD pops up again, this time from S5î. MA moves a few spots and shoots back. MA is getting too old to play snake though. He dumps a pod in and comes up with an idea. Using the empty pod he hurls it down a ways. It strikes a bunker and he hears HD shooting in that direction. Instead of trying to confront HD though MA beats feet for the exit. HD figures out what MA is doing and lays a string of paint straight towards the exit door. The first of the paint breaks on the door just a MA gets around it. Happy to be out of that mess MA is fine using that paint to get away. HD figures for the moment he will stay here, crawling the snake.
19) Heavy_D ma-duece-a DP
BR 9 continue
700, DP -100 roll 4 +0
(600) End
20) martix_agent etha AFF
1800 AFF -100 roll 4 +0
(1700) End
Sent from my motorola edge 2024 using Tapatalk
Comment