Things Refs Say...

[Magageddon]

I remember one of my old local fields was mostly the player refs, the guys who would ref Saturday and play for free on Sunday or get paint discounts etc. I do remember this one new hire reff maybe in his early 20's complaining about the job and then he said "Man, this job sucks, they don't even have benefits man" I still find that hilarious lol.

Anyone else have some funny stories on or off the field?

[iamthelazerviking]

Indoor field that didn't care about cleaning anything and hired whoever, younger ref would just hold a mask up to his face during games but in between games, would not...I called him out on it (first time ever seeing the kid), he said the glasses he was wearing were "made for construction" or some BS and that it was fine.

[$L!mBo]

whenever IM reffing our Stock Class events, i like to tell folks
"OK EVERYBODY! this next game is FULL AUTO UNCAPPED RAMPING ONLY!"

[Tarsun2]

"hey guys, can i get in on the next game?"

[Ego10Baller]

Last weekend had a ref tell my buddy who had just been shot out and called himself out / ran to the sideline after being hit "Oh I didn't know you got hit - you should've just kept playing".

Not the greatest reffing environment at my local field but that's a first

[Pyrate Jim]

I was playing with Jim Masse (paintball marshals) and He was playing using a stick feed.
A young ref came up and demanded he put a barrel blocker on it.

[acrewofone]

Many years go (when I was still playing), the Ref was hanging around a building bunker hat I was in, and as he walked toward a young player I heard him whisper "he's in the right window side". I could have been upset that he gave away my position, but it allowed that young player to get his first elimination, and I've never seen a kid so happy (it was worth being out).

[Ecapnation]

My two favorites ever happened at the same event.... I won't say where.

Sir!! We don't allow grenade launchers they are dangerous!!!

In response to my 05 black magic pump..... The guy thought the pump handle was a launcher

And the one that kept me from ever playing that event again...

Player eliminated!!! Get back to your start area asshole!!

(Me: the hell I do I'm just playing point?!)

You're a god damn threat to the opposite side you've snuck to far around and behind and I can't have this side take a beating!!

(Me: I have a pump and one pod of paint bro! They have 200 guys..... really?)

YES NOW RETURN TO YOUR START POINT!!

(Me: good idea I'll go home.)

[Psycho91]

Hell at that point just take off in the enemy direction and see if he stops you he can catch the paint as well if he does, might as well if your gonna leave afterwards lol

[Ecapnation]

The "massive douche" alarm was going off with him.... And at that point I had already grown annoyed at the event. They kept switching teams around even splitting teams up to try to get it to not be lopsided.

[MrKittyCatMeowFace]

Good call, you don't argue with someone like that. They just blow up, and it turns into an ugly brawl real quick. XD

[Fubarius]

One that made me rather happy was something overheard at a local tourney. I didn't catch the full context so I have no idea what this one player was arguing about with a ref, just the ref's response...

"Dude, I've given bigger penalties to players more famous that you."

When I used to ref I wanted to have that made into a t-shirt.

[Riot]

Stop pulling your dick out!!

Yeah, refs suck.

[DocsMachine]

When I ran a field (woodsball)

"Hey ref, where is he?"

"He's behind that tree." (Without pointing or indicating. )

And the follow-up:

"Hey ref, go check the guy in that bunker, I know I hit 'im!"

"Um, there's nobody IN that bunker."

Doc.

[Squid]

One time I had a ref insist on checking, multiple times, to make sure I was capped at 10 bps...
with a stock resurrection 🤨

[MrKittyCatMeowFace]

This is really a complaint for recball/open play refs. Too much yapping, not enough paintball. Get these games moving!

[The Jayster]

Had a ref once come over and tell me he had a complaint about me overshooting. I showed him my Empire Sniper pump, showed him how it worked and we had a good laugh. Nice chap.

I once had a ref, nice dude, but he told me that I couldn't take off my barrel and clean in the safe zone because doing so means having to take the barrel blocker off. When I asked him how I should proceed to clean the barrel break he told me to go out and do it on the field. I politely told him 'cool story bro' and resumed cleaning my barrel in the safe zone as soon as his back was turned. The guy really took the 'put your barrel sock on' rule way too literally.

Once played a scenario game where the refs had absolutely no idea about the objectives, the rules, etc. They were a bunch of punk ass speedball player wannabe agg kids that didn't take the scenario game seriously. Not surprisingly that field went bust even before Covid hit.