What's your "strangest" paintball experience?

[Trbo323]

This memory just came back to me out of the blue today and I thought you guys might like it but I was wondering if you had any "strange" paintball stories in turn.

Many many moons ago the year was around 2017. For a while I had an ad up on Craigslist offering paintball airsmith work. One day I get contacted by a guy looking for someone with some paintball expertise and knowledge in help with designing a new paintball product. He doesn't want to go into too much detail so I can't really say if I'm a good fit for what he is looking for or not but he offers $40 for my time and I figure if nothing else I'll just waste a few hours chatting.

I show up to his house and first off there's stuff pretty much everywhere. Not quite hoarder but like 1000 projects that never get finished. All kinds of stuff, no paintball stuff yet. I walk through the house with him and his wife pretty much ignores us, like this is just another day that ends in Y and this is all normal for her husband.

So we sit down on his back porch and start talking. He has a few stbb markers around and explains how his idea, well it's to get more "power" into each shot.

Awesome start.

I have to explain that that's not really a thing. "Power"= muzzle energy, muzzle energy is determined by velocity and weight of the projectile which are both fixed factors in paintball.

We talk a bit more and determine that it is entirely possible to make a marker more efficient and by adding....*sigh* "power" to each shot you can decrease the amount of air used to get to a fixed velocity and therefore increase efficiency.

So what you may ask was his paradigm shifting idea? Well first off he started talking about the expansion of CO2. Yes, in 2017 the booming market for CO2 paintball equipment. And how thermal expansion works. Well his idea was basically that the CO2 would expand more if it could absorb more heat while in the barrel. So if it could suck more heat out of the barrel walls in the fraction of a second it's in there and pushing the paintball then the velocity would go up.

I see where his theories are going but am now trying to explain to him that it doesn't happen fast enough. He is talking about things that happen in a few milliseconds.

He is of course arguing it works, his prototype is a barrel that he, well he basically gouged, using a chisel or center punch, something. It's all marked up on the outside, sharp metal bits sticking up all over. He is saying that he increased the surface area (technically true) which helps the barrel absorb heat better.

Ok, if it "works" where's your tests? Oh, he tested it alright, so how much did it increase the velocity you may ask? "The paintballs hit the fence harder". Yeah ... He didn't own a Chrono. He was basing his whole testing off of, "yeah, that sounds faster".

I'm basically giving up at this point, if this guy wants to believe he is the next budd orr let him. I try explaining that he needs numbers if he wants to prove something and that unregulated CO2 markers are suspectable to velocity dips and spikes so he has no way of determining any kind of accurate +/- for velocity and there will be variations in his testing regardless which is why he needs actual numbers not just hunches.

By the end I think at least some of what I was saying got through to him. But I'm sure he is still working on it and it will be the next big revolution in paintball.

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[Fubarius]

The year, 1999 or so.

The place, Sniper Jacks paintball in Champaign/Urbana IL.

A sort of Big Game, about 80ish players in an all day respawn game. Good time had by all.

Well, most.

One player on the opposing team from me got bit...



...on the butt...


(wait for it)


....by an emu.


Yes the 5ft tall Australian flightless bird.

[Magageddon]

I was teching a dudes gun at the field years ago, I think it was a cocker and something was wrong in the trigger frame, I figured the sear spring was too loose or something. Popped off the grips and a full dime bag flopped out, we both just looked at each other dumbfounded, I think the dude was embarrassed he forgot his stash was in there lol

[Drcemento]

Trbo323 did you get your 40 bucks?

[William the Third]

Trbo323 that dude should totally attach some heating elements to his barrel. He could even use propane for the heat source. Better yet, just skip the CO2, use the propane and an igniter to launch the paintball with <Tim Allen circa 1991>more power *argh argh argh*</Tim Allen circa 1991>. To make it even more efficient, make it a pump, so the propane is only used to launch the ball. I bet you could get something like 30,000~50,000 shots off of one of those little 16oz propane tanks.

[William the Third]

w3ki11suckers yeah, that was where I was going with my bad joke.

[w3ki11suckers]

went right over my head lol sorry

[uv_halo]

I got it! :P

[Trbo323]

Trbo323 did you get your 40 bucks?

Yes he did pay me for my time. I think he really just wanted someone to be like "wow! That's crazy cool why has nobody ever thought of this!? It's going to make you $1,000,000!!!"

Trbo323 that dude should totally attach some heating elements to his barrel. He could even use propane for the heat source. Better yet, just skip the CO2, use the propane and an igniter to launch the paintball with more power *argh argh argh*Allen circa 1991>. To make it even more efficient, make it a pump, so the propane is only used to launch the ball. I bet you could get something like 30,000~50,000 shots off of one of those little 16oz propane tanks.

Lol, I think the funny part is some kind of surface area increase, ie fins or something similar, would have helped the c3's barrel heating issues which prevented it from being semi auto

I've had an idea of creating a semi auto mechanical c3 using all pneumatics powered by the propane vapor. Since propane self regulates to around 100-150psi you wouldn't even need a regulator.

But then, you know, venting propane from the pneumatics while also making fire very close by with other propane.... Yeah

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[Ecapnation]

Getting a phone call at 1 pm on a Thursday before an Emr event from Greg Hastings by way of my my friends group call basically demanding that I bring a pile of vintage bits associated with NPS/Kee/Gi and myself to orange county choppers in upstate NY and get there by 5 am!

So we packed up the car heavy, got there by 5:00 a.m. did some filming Paul Senior gave us his truck to go get Starbucks and at some point it all sank in that I'm running around with Greg Hastings and Paul seniors truck and I'm filming something for paintball that might be a motorcycle build and I'm somehow involved. We had a sign release waivers we had to explain some of the gear that we bought in infinite detail we left a milk crate of stuff that might be interesting to put on a motorcycle build.

And whatever became of it? Nothing our scenes were cut our parts were barely used not even a text mention of us anywhere in the story. We were removed like a cancer.

[Jordan]

I had a ref stare at me for a full 20 seconds while I was at the chrony, and then ask me if they were dyed. I said "Sorry? Are what dyed?" He says "your frames. Are your frames dyed or actually red?" I said "they're actually red". He looks at me and says "how much do you want for them?"

Not for sale my guy. Is that a normal thing people do?

[Ecapnation]

Surprisingly yes....

I've been asked several times to sell my original run all black flex 8's

[Chuck E Ducky]

Yeah that’s pretty normal.

[boomersruckus]

1999- was hit from above by a dozen or so paintballs in the middle of Vipers Quest for the Holy Grail at TXR paintball. It was a freaking Ultra-light aircraft with the pilot pouring pods of paint out for bomb runs. He was well out of paintball range from the ground but gravity doesnt care about that. He flew bombing runs for hours throughout the entire weekend.

2001- was getting read the riot act by a cop who pulled me over for aggressive driving, speeding, and improper lane changes. He was yelling because apparently those things are dangerous. Asked for my proof of insurance which was in the glovebox. When I opened it, there was a squeegie in there and a few paintballs. He instantly asked if I played paintball and I of course said hell yes. He said shit, I cant ticket a fellow baller. Come to find out he was in the same tourney series I was in and we had played against eachother. He knew my team by name and I knew his. I got off with a calm the F down while driving.

[martix_agent]

Getting a phone call at 1 pm on a Thursday before an Emr event from Greg Hastings by way of my my friends group call basically demanding that I bring a pile of vintage bits associated with NPS/Kee/Gi and myself to orange county choppers in upstate NY and get there by 5 am!

So we packed up the car heavy, got there by 5:00 a.m. did some filming Paul Senior gave us his truck to go get Starbucks and at some point it all sank in that I'm running around with Greg Hastings and Paul seniors truck and I'm filming something for paintball that might be a motorcycle build and I'm somehow involved. We had a sign release waivers we had to explain some of the gear that we bought in infinite detail we left a milk crate of stuff that might be interesting to put on a motorcycle build.

And whatever became of it? Nothing our scenes our parts were barely used not even a text mention of us anywhere in the story. We were removed like a cancer.

this seems on-brand with gregg. I met him a few times and he's not a bad person at all, but he seemed very scatterbrained.

[Ecapnation]

To put it lightly.... Yeah. He is a full throttle personality even if it's running strait into a wall. Very Steve-O vibes

[Trbo323]

Man these are great, I'm glad I made this thread

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[Jackson]

I witnessed Greg Hastings shit himself on a paintball field.

[PBGunny]

Bet he auctioned them off and got good $ for it.

[Ecapnation]

There's the Steve-O vibes again....

[PBGunny]

Was trying out a new field in Ft. Wayne IN with a couple of friends... A sort of indoor/outdoor place that had just gotten started.
We were playing outdoors and they wouldn't let us stage out of our vehicles, so we had to carry our gear bags to this area near the field with a bunch of picnic tables.
We picked one out and had played a couple of games and were there with our gear getting ready for the next game.
I always bring a small pump sprayer and full roll of the good paper towels when I play and I let my friends use them.
So we are sitting there talking and this "young man" comes right up, grabs the sprayer and towel roll and walks off to the other side of the staging area.
We are all like ?????, so I get up and walk over to this clueless wonder and ask him what he is doing.
He replies "Cleaning my goggles".
I then ask him why he is using my stuff to do that with.
He then proceeds to tell me that it was the field's stuff and that I shouldn't be so stingy to "hog the cleaning stuff" and let others use it too.
I then tell him that it was my stuff he was using, not the field's stuff.
He says prove it.
I turn the spray bottle over and show him where I marked my name on the bottom with a paint pen.
He then says "Well how do I know that is you?"
I had to pull out my wallet and show him my driver's license.
I then proceeded to tell Mr. Sticky Fingers to leave my stuff alone, loud enough for everyone to hear.
As I am walking off... I hear him lecturing me how I shouldn't be stingy and allow other people usage of my stuff.
One of the refs or the owner of the field came over and quieted him down after that.
BTW: He was on the other team and we made sure that next game, we were not stingy with giving him our paint in large quantities.
He was not a happy camper.
Damn Thief.

[Hobbes]

I worked at an indoor field pre-2010 and a lot of crazy shit happened. So it goes at a place basically run by high school/college students.

Water bottles filled with CO2 snow booming in the parking lot, a kid trying to vacuum the floor getting shot up in staging, my boss losing his shit because I had left the front door open on a cold day, theft (one dude in particular...), bachelor parties chugging beer, etc. I could easily go on.

I will always remember how booming business was around halloween because the locals did paintball battles in the streets. Cheap blowbacks and CO2 tanks were hugely popular. You could count on at least one snatch and grab where a group would distract you while another person grabbed a rental Tippy and ran (my boss then drove up and down streets searching, maybe he would have run them down?). Thankfully I never came across any street battles.

[boomersruckus]

In the late 90's there was an abandoned concrete factory here in San Antonio. It was in rough shape but was still a full factory building with cat walks, offices, hallways, huge machinery and a massive fence surrounding it with a no trespassing sign. Needless to say we played paintball in that as a group of 6. 3 vs 3 all over that place late in the evening. On a few occasions we had to make a swift retreat because a cop car showed up unannounced. We never got caught. That is until one day when we were talking and resting between games and a police officer literally sneaks out of the shadows and tells us not to run. We were absolutely sh*itting ourselves thinking the worst. He told us that one night on a patrol he noticed some paintball splatters on some of the buildings. He mentioned stopping by in the car every once in a while to see if he could join us. He thought it would be an awesome place to play paintball. He played with us a few times before we moved to actual fields to play.

Longer story. My teammates and I were new in the division we were playing in and some of my team had pre-match butterflies. Bad. Combine the butterflies with the upset stomach that some people tend to get when they are nervous and its a recipe for disaster. At least it was for my teammates underwear when he dove into the snake on our first match. Afterwards he seemed standoffish and as I mentioned, we were all pretty nervous wanting to make a good showing (we didnt) so we didnt think twice about it. Anywhoo, all day long this dude looked to be too far into his own head. We had a ton of gear and a small van we rented to take us from the hotel to the field so we made several trips coming and going for that day. In the hotel, I am on the bottom floor sharing a room with a few of my teammates and I have the window open and am resting on the window seal (no A/C in the hotel). Looking into the room and talking when my friends noticed something fall from above behind my back. I turn and look down onto a pair of absolutely destroyed underwear. Later that night we have a team meeting and towards the end I jokingly tell them about the mysterious shi*tty underwear that fell from the sky when my teammate broke down laughing. He admitted they were his and told us the story that as he dove into the snake on the very first point, he hit the ground wrong, farted, and shit his pants. We actually won that point and it was from the snake side. This dude pooped his pants, blasted fools, and stood away from us all day because he was nervous we would smell him. I asked him why he didnt take them off and clean himself up. He simply said it was contained in his clothes and he didnt feel it was possible to clean himself in the portapotties. Legend!