What's your "strangest" paintball experience?

[boomersruckus]

Pushing on the cocking rod of the cocker as you shoot it. Moah Pooowwwaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!

[Trbo323]

Ok, bit of a long one here but it's good if you have the time. I originally wrote this out to send to a podcast I listen to so there's probably a little more explanation than you guys really need, enjoy


This is the story of how Mylie Cyrus assisted the German army in operation Michael Jackson.

You can't make this shit up.


So there I was, Christmas morning opening a letter from my wife. My brother in law and father in law also had identical envelopes. Inside was the trip of a lifetime. All three of us were into the sport of paintball and a while before I had wondered, "what's the largest paintball game in the world?" Turned out, at the time it was a game called Oklahoma D-Day and it happened every year. The game pulled in around 2,200 players each year. One of the interesting aspects of the game is the teams are structured similarly to how the armies were in WWii so all of the divisions and squads that were at Normandy are represented at OK D-Day. We had decided to join the German army for a few reasons, 1) the Germans are always outnumbered, sometimes 3 or 4 to 1 and all of us were experienced paintball players at that point so we wanted a challenge. 2) the game happens in June, in Oklahoma. It's HOT. the Germans are on top of the hills, defending often in the shade rather than climbing the hills in the sun.

So pack up! Road trip to Oklahoma from Portland! We picked up our rental RV in salt lake city which got a mind numbing 5mpg the rest of the way to Oklahoma. The event is a full week so we pull into the camp grounds Sunday night only to find that someone is in our camping spot. The organizers say hey no problem we will just move you guys to the end of the row. We move down to where it's more flat and find that we are actually camping next to our unit's XO, a big lovable guy who goes by his call sign "cupcake".

Monday through Thursday there is a game in the morning, in a different area of the 700 acre field. These games are just for fun, no points are awarded either way. It's HOT, 105° or thereabouts throughout the whole week. Usually those games wrap up around noon and everyone heads back to camp to chill, wait out the heat and tell stories from the day. In the evening they open up the airball field with stadium lights for people to play some evening paintball in camp once it's cooled down.

This leaves a large part of each of the days during the week to hang out in camp and chill. But because the event is so long (6 days) you are left trying to strategize. Each team runs radio towers and a dedicated radio shack that is full of radios. Idk if it was true but I heard there was more radio traffic during the d day game than there is when the US military takes over a city. It's a lot, each team is making their own transmissions, listening to the other team and sometimes making fake transmissions because they know the other team is listening. So if you can mess with the other team by causing them to waste time on the radio, that's a small win. Wasted time on the radio means they may miss some important radio chatter.

But what could we do on the field that would get them talking on the radios about our shenanigans? I think someone mentioned "let's build a fake tank" but we only had 2 days left so that was out but got someone else thinking. What about fake people? Mannequins? Well as a shock to nobody, there's no mannequins R us in small town Oklahoma. But what you can get on short notice is.... We'll just call them "inflatable people".

Yes ok, we used blow up dolls in a paintball game. The look on their faces said they were very surprised to be in a paintball game as well. All females of course and because it was a family event we did have to dress them. Trusty duct tape gave them tube tops and skirts. Somewhere along the way we named this whole plan "Operation Michael Jackson" I think because we were trying to be smooth criminals or something. It was hot, our brains were melted, alcohol was probably involved, give me a break

One of the girls got named Miley Cyrus, she was found to be sleeping "next to" one of the guys in our little section of camp in the RV. For the most part we wanted to keep the girls out of sight.

Saturday, D day comes and at least 2 of the girls make it out to the field. Our friend Miley makes it into the church building to the 2nd floor where she is posted up in a window.

From here I wasn't sure what happened other than I heard one of our guys, Tank, was hiding behind Miley at some point and using her as cover. Miley was taking an absolute pounding as everyone who saw her in the window apparently wanted to shoot her.

So the game goes on, 8 hours and I don't hear much, kind of forget about them. We get back to camp and I see our radio shack guy and remember we had sent the girls out. He sees our group and gets the biggest shit eating grin on his face. Of course he has been listening to the allies transmissions all day and we all ask what he knows. He says "guys, you are not going to believe this. Apparently not only did the allies find the dolls and were talking about them on the radio, a small group of them got ahold of one, took it to a ref and tried to turn it in thinking it might be a secret objective. Naturally it wasn't but not only did they not get points for it, the refs actually penalized them for basically wasting the refs time"

Gather round for the final score presentation. I don't remember what the exact totals were but they were in the thousands. A close game is decided by a few hundred points each way, 2015 was the closest game ever at that point and was decided by 5 points if memory is correct.

So I don't know what penalty the refs gave that group of allies, but if it's 5 or more points, our messing around and having fun trying to screw with the other team literally won us that game.

Good times




Sent from my motorola edge 2024 using Tapatalk

[PBGunny]

Operation Smoke-um if You Got-um...
Would have been one of the Monster Games right before COVID, maybe 2017 or 2018.
A certain friend of mine got hold of an official Navy Marker Buoy that are used by the US Navy for rescue during ship sinking or man overboard.
It was pretty big, like a standard life ring but the middle hole was filled with the smoke device.
The LED strobe light wouldn't work, but it was thought that the smoke generation would still work.
After much trial, it was found to just fit into a large backpack.
Sunday morning, the deed was done.
We went out as a team from the west insertion just below Highlands.
We went towards West Point and about 50 yds from the bridges going towards Castle Rock, where the swamp starts.
Making sure nobody was around, my friend ran up the hill into the woods, removed the buoy and set it off.
For about 1 minute it didn't do anything, but after that the orange smoke started pouring out of it... thick orange smoke.
The wind was out of the north, so the smoke started rolling across the field and into the staging area.
Refs came running from all over the place, thinking the field was on fire.
Watching them run around in the smoke trying to find it was amusing.
When they finally found it, still belching smoke, they decided it needed to be put out.
So, one of them threw it into the swamp, figuring water would put it out.
Big mistake.
It floated out into the middle of the swamp, still belching thick orange smoke.
To listen to Dave Massey yelling at the refs to put it out over the radios was well gut busting.
I believe it was Narf who finally clued them into what it was and that throwing in the water would not do anything, since it was built for aquatic environment.
They finally figured out that it would stop smoking, but they were sure mad about the whole thing.
For the rest of the day, the staging area had this orange hue hanging in the air and it had that smoky, industrial taste in the air.
I don't think the atmosphere at the Tiki Lounge was what Dave wanted.

[martix_agent]

Operation Smoke-um if You Got-um...
Would have been one of the Monster Games right before COVID, maybe 2017 or 2018.
A certain friend of mine got hold of an official Navy Marker Buoy that are used by the US Navy for rescue during ship sinking or man overboard.
It was pretty big, like a standard life ring but the middle hole was filled with the smoke device.
The LED strobe light wouldn't work, but it was thought that the smoke generation would still work.
After much trial, it was found to just fit into a large backpack.
Sunday morning, the deed was done.
We went out as a team from the west insertion just below Highlands.
We went towards West Point and about 50 yds from the bridges going towards Castle Rock, where the swamp starts.
Making sure nobody was around, my friend ran up the hill into the woods, removed the buoy and set it off.
For about 1 minute it didn't do anything, but after that the orange smoke started pouring out of it... thick orange smoke.
The wind was out of the north, so the smoke started rolling across the field and into the staging area.
Refs came running from all over the place, thinking the field was on fire.
Watching them run around in the smoke trying to find it was amusing.
When they finally found it, still belching smoke, they decided it needed to be put out.
So, one of them threw it into the swamp, figuring water would put it out.
Big mistake.
It floated out into the middle of the swamp, still belching thick orange smoke.
To listen to Dave Massey yelling at the refs to put it out over the radios was well gut busting.
I believe it was Narf who finally clued them into what it was and that throwing in the water would not do anything, since it was built for aquatic environment.
They finally figured out that it would stop smoking, but they were sure mad about the whole thing.
For the rest of the day, the staging area had this orange hue hanging in the air and it had that smoky, industrial taste in the air.
I don't think the atmosphere at the Tiki Lounge was what Dave wanted.

I've heard this story before and it's still funny today.

White River Paintball had a game master who bought one of these at D-Day and used it in one of their games. I didn't get to witness it, but I hear it put out smokes exactly like the story you told.

[PBGunny]

Matrix... Being in Indiana, you would know who did it.
Hint: He was also at D-Day and was a vendor.

[martix_agent]

Matrix... Being in Indiana, you would know who did it.
Hint: He was also at D-Day and was a vendor.

Engler showed up at monster game and lit one of these off? Or did I mix my stories, and the game master did this at monster game? Because that's even better if it's true.

The 508 paratroopers bought i think 3 cases of the handheld ones and damn near used everysingle one of them on the church at the end of D-day 2018 or 2017? That was an event for sure.

[PBGunny]

Think store owner... Really nice place in Northeastern IN.
Shows up with a trailer every year...
Another hint... Founding member of Team Guido with the tie die shirts.
Which is another Monster Game story that needs to be told someday.

[martix_agent]

Think store owner... Really nice place in Northeastern IN.
Shows up with a trailer every year...
Another hint... Founding member of Team Guido with the tie die shirts.
Which is another Monster Game story that needs to be told someday.

Admittedly, i've never been to monster game, and I don't know a tie-dye shirt team, either.

But, I do know of vendors in the Ft. Wayne area. I can't really see either of them doing that, though.