A pun is its own reword

[scottieb]

I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6, and 500 in roman numerals. IM LIVID

[Nish]

Respect people who wear glasses. They paid good money to see you.

[scottieb]

The can crusher quit his job because it was soda pressing.

[Axel]

What did the cannibal say when he checked his pantry? I dunno, I canned ear

[scottieb]

And when his mother was over for dinner she said, "Son, I just don't like your neighbors." To which the cannibal replied, "Then just eat the salad, mom."

[Rainmaker]

My son told me this one yesterday, I'm so proud!

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

Tentacles!

[scottieb]

Awesome! I'd be a proud dad too.

[Nish]

Confucius say, man who sit in cupboard have butt in jam.

[Rainmaker]

Her: I'm leaving, I'm sick of you wearing a different shirt every 30 minutes.

Him: Wait! I can change!

[scottieb]

Employees at the Federal Mint are complaining that the workload there is just too great.

They are going on strike so they can make less money.

[Rainmaker]

My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list...
Now I can't read anything.

[scrounger]

if the study about italy is the study of italian culture
and the study about india is the study of indian culture

then is the study of prostitution the study of
WHOREdeculture?

[scrounger]

Confucius say
"man who stands on toilet is HIGH on POT

[Nish]

When life is trash

[latches109]

"My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward."


"Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?"
"In case they get a hole in one!

[latches109]

"I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. Turns out it was the refrigerator all along."

[Nish]

Hehe

[Rainmaker]

I found out the other day that my uncle is addicted to Viagra... my aunt has been taking it hard.