A pun is its own reword

[flyweightnate]

[DPrekel]

Tonight the rescue company practiced it's campground rescue. It was in tents!

[Rainmaker]

[Rainmaker]

Anyone seen the new Back To The Future trailer?

[Rainmaker]

Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m OK, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.


RIP boiled water. You will be mist.


What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? Well, the flag is a big plus.


I’ve decided to sell my vacuum cleaner... it was just collecting dust.


My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned. I couldn’t concentrate.

[Olsson]

This pun comes with a bit of a background as to when, and during which circumstances it was told, so bear with me. I was stationed in Bosnia -94/95, when the civil war finally ended, the Dayton Agreement was signed, and U.S. troops entered the conflict. A two man Fire Support Team was assigned to my Company. (I was a Mech Inf Squad Leader.) At this particular time, units of Jihadis from the Middle East were being sent to Bosnia, to bolster the Bosniac Moslems, and there was way too little intel on them for comfort.

So half of my squad, along with the U.S. FS-team was assigned on a recon mission, in order of getting reliable intel on the Jihadis that had established a training camp in the Swedish Area of Operations. I was assigned a different task at the time, so my Deputy Squad Leader handled the mission, and yes, we were constantly understaffed. Anyway, needless to say, secrecy was of the essence. So after successfully infiltrating the Jihadi training camp, scouting out their activities from some heavy undergrowh, well within hearing distance, my Deputy Squad Leader notices the U.S. Sergeant crawling up to him closely, in order to wisper something to him. Probably something very important, he figures, to risk both crawling and whispering, and is promptly told;


"What's the difference between a rooster and a hooker?"
"Well, the rooster goes cockadoodledoo, whereas a hooker goes any cock'll do"


Laughing was not an option. Really not an option.

[flyweightnate]

Now I need a thread for all my Bosnian jokes... fortunately I was there 15 years later.

[DPrekel]

Went to the local meat market this morning. The kid behind the counter tried to tell a joke, but he butchered it. I guess the steaks were too high.

[scottieb]

This girl, a vegetarian, said she recognized me, but I've never met herbivore.

[flyweightnate]

When does a joke become a dad joke?
When the punch line is apparent.

[Number six]

I thought it happened when it was fully "groan"!

[Carp]

Do they allow loud laughing in Hawaii or just a low ha?

[Yellow5]

Tyrannosaurs are only cool in groups. One by itself is just a Tyrannosaurus Wreck.

[JeepDVLZ45]

What do you get when you cross a elephant with a rhinoceros?

El-if-I-know


What is a cow right after it’s had an abortion?
De-calf-inated

[scottieb]

Two fish are in a tank.






One fish says to the other, "You drive. I'll man the gun."

[Carp]

[scottieb]

When you feel like a small, brown, long tailed monkey just remember, marmoset there'd be days like this.