A pun is its own reword

[acrewofone]

I'm getting fat. It's because I've had a lot on my plate lately.

[paboye8886]

I will get mine

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[Olsson]

I will get mine

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I believe you might accidentally have posted in the wrong forum. You probably meant to post in the "Buy, Sell, Trade" forum. Unless of course, you just so happen to have what I'm looking for in my WTB ad, link in my signature.

In fact, I have a good feeling about this - I'm dead sure you have those exact items, so hit me up with a PM.

[scottieb]

Back on track with another one I came up with:

I bought a flag pole and am trying to put it up but it keeps falling over. I've tried a dozen times. It's infuriating. I can't stand it!

[acrewofone]

Police report the perp broke into a craft store and kept sticking his scrotum in the glitter....that's pretty nuts!

[Olsson]

Police report the perp broke into a craft store and kept sticking his scrotum in the glitter....that's pretty nuts!

After the recent trends where people decorate their beards with glitter and Christmas decorations, I wouldn't have realized that this was a joke, if I hadn't read it in this specific forum.

[acrewofone]

A midget psychic broke out of jail. The headline in the paper read "Small Medium at Large."

I saw a midget prisoner climbing down the jail fence to escape, and he looked at me and sneered, I thought to myself "well, that's a little condescending."

[acrewofone]

I wrote a book about a construction site, it's a work in progress..

[Rainmaker]

A guy trying to rob a disco: “Everybody, put your hands up in the air!”

Everybody: “YEAAHHH!!!! Wooohhoooo!!!”

[scottieb]

At first there were only 25 letters in the alphabet. No one knew why.

[Painthappy]

I was going to make a meat joke, but that's a medium rarely well done.

[acrewofone]

Mountain ranges are funny, that's because they're hill areas!

[Nish]

I didn't think orthopedic shoes would help at all, but I stand corrected.

[DPrekel]

The adjective for 'Metal' is 'Metallic'. But it is not the same for 'Iron', which is ironic.

[Axel]

Speaking of metal, did you hear that Doc Nickel was thinking about packing up the whole machine shop and moving from Alaska to Florida? Apparently everything needs de-brrrrr'd.